On page 1, there's this photo of the Simple Country Bishop™ in Exceedingly Tacky Vestments at the Integrity Eucharist:
On page 2 there's Bishop Chane's reflections on General Convention, which included this:
We generally seemed to like and respect one another, even in our disagreements. If anything can be said about this General Convention, it is that we really listened to one another and there was a genuine concern and caring for others and their opinions that I have not seen before in the House of Bishops.
He neglects to mention that most of the people with whom he had genuine disagreements are gone, and the few that are left have decided that debate isn't worth the effort. It's easy to listen to one another when you're all saying the same thing.
On page 3 there's an article that begins:
The efforts of the dioceses of Washington and Maryland to establish a liturgical feast day for civil rights pioneer and former Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall moved closer to
fruition at the Episcopal Church's General Convention in July. In Resolution B020, sponsored by Bishop John Bryson Chane, the convention "called upon the Standing Commission of Liturgy and Music to
add Marshall to the liturgical calendar of this church now." The word "now" was added to the resolution by the convention's Committee on Prayer Book, Liturgy and Church Music, to underscore its desire to have Marshall's name added without delay.
On page 5, just two pages before the article headlined "Convention adopts much-reduced budget," is an interview with the rector of a church who responds to a question about the effect of national issues on his parish by saying:
We lost parishioners after the General Convention six years ago. That was really a tough time. We lost a junior warden who was very active in our vestry – he was instrumental in the reconstruction of the church after it was heavily damaged in the 2002 tornado that destroyed much of La Plata – and we’ve lost other members of the parish. It’s tough coming up with a balance between having an honest conversation and obsessing about an issue such as homosexuality, how one relates to a more traditional understanding of biblical authority.
On page 8 there's this lovely photo:
...and, continuing the theme of Exceedingly Tacky Worship, Katharine Schori presiding at a Eucharist, complete with what appears to be children, forced to perform Horrible Liturgical Dance:
...and the Simple Country Bishop™ again, doing the work of the Lord, this time protesting on behalf of a labor union against Disney over a contract dispute:
There's the article on how to choose a children's Bible. The first piece of advice is:
Most children's Bibles have pictures that are of poor quality, cartoonish or silly. This is often because more children's Bibles are published by conservative Christian publishers that focus on conveying the facts and the moral lesson of the story instead of opening the Scriptures to children in a way that engages them in a process of learning about God.
Yes, can't have those conservatives and their pesky facts and moral lessons. No, even children must be "engaged" in a "process."
On page 11, there's the "Monthly Meditation" in which we're treated to this introduction to "Crone Power":
A crone is an old woman. A crone is a witch. A crone is a wise woman. Which one will you be, my friend? Which one I?
What is the female equivalent of 'elder statesman?' A woman of a certain age will be described as "although she is in her 60s or 70s, she is still attractive." But why although? How about, "because she is in her 70s or 80s, she shows dignity and beauty." Instead, there are mother-in-law jokes galore, and, generally speaking, older women are relegated to the sidelines.
So what is the cure? What is the solution? For what do women's hearts cry out?
Well, let's see... we have women, we have baby boomers, we have liberal Episcopalians. That can mean only one thing.
That's right - a Wiccan liturgy!
Seven of us stand in a circle. One lights a candle and puts it on a center table. We take turns reading the poem Woman's Work by Maya Angelou as a sign of solidarity with all women. We then invite our newest crone-to-be into the circle.
She tells us of the phases of her life up until now. The others ask her:
"What is it you are seeking for this phase of your life as a crone?"
She answers: "I seek wisdom."
We say in unison: "Mothering God, grant her Crone Wisdom."
We ask: "Beside wisdom, what is it you are seeking?"
She answers: "I seek judgment."
We reply: "Mothering God, grant her Crone Judgment."
Finally we ask: "Besides wisdom and judgment, what is it you are seeking?"
She says: "I seek Joy."
We respond: "Mothering God, grant her Crone Joy."
We take turns anointing her forehead with special oil and present her with a stole, or wreath, inviting her to go forth into the world and share her Crone power.
We pray:
Eternal Wisdom, source of our being and center of all our longing,
In you our sister has lived to a strong age: A woman of dignity and wit, in loving insight now a blessed crone.
May the phase into which she has entered bear the marks of your spirit.
May she ever be borne up by the fierce and tender love of friends and by You, most intimate friend; and clothed in your light, grow in grace as she advances in years,
For your love's sake.
We conclude our ceremony with a joyous feast we have prepared for each other.
Watch out, world, here we come!
The writer notes that:
"Recipes" for crone rituals abound on the Web. However, insofar as they evoke images of earth mother goddesses, wiccans and pagan rituals, they were not right for us. We build on a proud tradition of accomplished Christian women who, as abbesses, surely qualify for the title of Crone, such as Hild, Ita and Brigid in Celtic times. The 14th century writer Julian of Norwich described God as a Mother. Mother Seton, who had five children when she built the first Catholic schools in North America, was surely a Crone, too. And do not forget Mother Theresa of Calcutta, our modern day saint. We claim Christian sisterhood with each of them.
...yet do a search for "crone" and "wicca" and you get over half a million hits. Search the "Crone liturgy" above for "Jesus," "Christ," or "God" in the masculine form with which Jesus referred to Him, and you get... well... zero hits. So much for Christian sisterhood, or for that matter Christian anyhood. Something also tells me that Mother Seton, Mother Theresa and perhaps all the other women the author invokes wouldn't necessarily embrace the term "crone" to describe them or their work.
Is there more? You bet.
But I can't take it any more. The whole wretched thing is here for your... uh... "enjoyment."
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Comments:
The crone (Wicca) article is by Helma Lanyi, a parishioner at St. Alban’s, DC. That’s the parish that the new bishop of Georgia is coming from. We know he’s OK with SSBs and open communion. One now wonders what his take on wicca might be.
Suddenly, I hear the sweet strains of “Marching Through Georgia” in my head.