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[Completely Off Topic & Personal] Orgies

Wednesday, December 16, 2009 • 9:18 pm


I live in a funny neighborhood -- a wide, old-fashioned street with sidewalks and a mix of former mill houses and big old two-story houses at varying distances. Hispanics, elderly, young families, African-Americans, Polish and Hungarian, Caucasian, and more. They all seem to have cats, which glide through the neighborhood scowling at one another.

I like it very much.

But Christmas brings out the worst in tawdry decorations. One house looks like a nightclub, with dark red lights. Another is a disco. But the worst is the front yard and porch of a large two-story house. It has monstrous old-fashioned lighted bulbs planted throughout the yard, along with giant lighted candy canes stuck in the dirt. The front is draped with lights. Different lights strewn through the bushes. None of the lights' colors match. There is a moving large Santa Claus on the porch. One can barely walk through the yard, so stuffed is it with decorations.

It is a hideous blot upon the street, a spectacle of Christmas horrors.

Other than the tradition of watching this orgy sprout up on the street, I also like the very tall and perfectly shaped outside conifer that is faithfully given a lovely simple classic strand of lights -- a lone haven of peace, order, and sophistication that I watch for.

This morning, in another exercise in excess I was at the gym and decided to push it a little -- add some extra and press on through.

I pulled a muscle in a sadly inappropriate area of the body, and now find it challenging to stand from a sitting position.

But the best thing about this week was that I have acquired from the library two Sansom novels, and the new annotated Sherlock Holmes, whose adventures I've read many times before.

An orgy of great reading, which causes me to say, earlier than usual . . . "Goodnight all."



Comments:

Good night Sarah…sweet dreams.
Intercessor

[1] Posted by Intercessor on 12-16-2009 at 10:18 PM • top

Sarah, I don’t know if this was ever linked at SFIF before but you owe it to yourself to be stupefied by the Calvacade of Bad Nativities. It will give you an appreciation for the utter rightness of your neighborhood’s Christmas’ displays.

http://www.goingjesus.com/cavalcade1.shtml

[2] Posted by Paula Loughlin on 12-16-2009 at 10:27 PM • top

I don’t know Sarah, outside of horribly bizarre and out of proportion Nativity scenes, I like outdoor Christmas lights.  Of course up in the frozen wasteland, it gets dark about 4 PM so we’re glad to get whatever breaks the cold dark outside that comes with Minnesota winters.  It provides folks an opportunity to get out and increase their carbon footprints by going to some of the more creative displays.

On Christmas Eve sometimes whole neighborhoods augment their lights by luminaria bags on their driveways and in the streets.  It can be really pretty if there’s been a reasonably fresh coating of snow.  Given the way our culture is going, I’d rather see some folks overdoing it a bit than letting it go unnoticed and uncelebrated.

I’m not much for Sherlock Holmes, but when I get laid up, I like to reread Tolkein’s Silmarillion.

[3] Posted by Bill2 on 12-16-2009 at 10:50 PM • top

So I shudder to ask this, but… Sansom novels?  I bet he has a friend named Ledilah?

carl

[4] Posted by carl on 12-16-2009 at 11:42 PM • top

I am so relieved.  The title of the post raised visions of something no Southern Lady should discuss.

[5] Posted by Katherine on 12-17-2009 at 06:18 AM • top

...the new annotated Sherlock Holmes, whose adventures I’ve read many times before.

I have traditionally thought of myself as not being in mysteries, but seeing some of the TV adaptation of the Sherlock Holmes with Jermey Brett has inspired me to give a go at Sherlock Holmes.  I picked up a few anthologies at used book sales and I have them waiting for a good time to read them.  I’ve also started on the Brother Cadfael works (the orignal books and the TV adaptations).

[6] Posted by AndrewA on 12-17-2009 at 06:42 AM • top

Has anyone gone to U-tube and viewed the orgy of Manheim Steamroller Christmas light videos?  Thank God I don’t have one of those on our street!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0pTBNkt9g4

[7] Posted by Capt. Deacon Warren on 12-17-2009 at 06:43 AM • top

I don’t mind the lights myself, it’s the inflatables.  There’s a house on my street that sounds like an airport when I walk by because of all the fans running to keep the many inflatables crammed into the front yard upright…

[8] Posted by Nevin on 12-17-2009 at 06:56 AM • top

Richmond, VA, where I make my home, has a strong “Tacky Lights Tour” tradition, with a 40,000-light minimum.  Here’s the local paper’s main page for the shenanigans.

Re: inflatables, there’s one house that doesn’t meet the minimum for lights, but is listed because it boasts over 150 inflatables.  (Scroll down for pics…shudder.)

[9] Posted by Jeff in VA on 12-17-2009 at 07:18 AM • top

Ah, Katherine—did you doubt me?  ; > )

Yes, Nevin—and I have noticed that people who put inflatables in their yards can never stop with one inflatable.

AndrewA—it’s the atmosphere of Doyle that I appreciate so much.  I enjoy reading about some of the arcania of the 1880s and 90s . . .

Paula—sad sad sad sad.  My eyes are branded now with even more horrible sights.

Carl [heavy sigh]  . . . all right-thinking Christians should read Sansom’s mysteries, but it’s understandable that you have not even heard of them.

From GoodReads:

Christopher John “C.J.” Sansom is an English writer of crime novels. He was born in 1952 and was educated at the University of Birmingham, where he took a BA and then a PhD in history. After working in a variety of jobs, he decided to retrain as a solicitor. He practised for a while in Sussex as a lawyer for the disadvantaged, before quitting in order to work full-time as a writer.
He came to prominence with his series set in the reign of Henry VIII in the 16th century, whose main character is the hunchbacked lawyer Matthew Shardlake. Shardlake works on commission initially from Thomas Cromwell in Dissolution and Dark Fire and then Thomas Cranmer in Sovereign and Revelation.

[10] Posted by Sarah on 12-17-2009 at 07:32 AM • top

#8 - And don’t forget, the pitiful carcasses of the inflatables, lying on the ground in daylight.

I find many colors of lights and flashing lights quite festive myself. I get my daughter and her friend to put up the lights, so as long as it gets done, I don’t care about the colors.  Among many other light strings in the yard, they traditionally put a string of **purple** lights above the front door. And since my neighborhood is full of “classy” symmetrical and stodgy light displays, I always get a kick out of the exuberance of our lights.

[11] Posted by Cathy_Lou on 12-17-2009 at 07:38 AM • top

One of the “viral” e-mails circulating around this year shows a Santa inflatable on a rooftop, with a string of lights extending from his crotch area down to the ground. I don’t have the guts to set one up at our house.

[12] Posted by Ralph on 12-17-2009 at 07:46 AM • top

In my house, the extent of my Christmas decorations consists of the following, all on the mantle above a fireplace:

—one set of sleigh bells.
—two very fragile striped glass canes [hangingfrom the small light sconce set in the wall]
—a small white snowflake hanging from same

In this way, I am like a True Calvinist.

; > )

But I’m not offended by the light displays at all in the neighborhood.  I look forward with a curious mixture of dread and relish to seeing them.

[13] Posted by Sarah on 12-17-2009 at 07:52 AM • top

Matching? Why would you want Christmas lights to match? grin I’m with Cathy Lou, I enjoy the exuberant light displays. With the shorter days and longer nights, they add much needed cheer, I think. We have a nativity set that we’ve put up in our yard since the mid-1960s. My father built the “stable,” which makes it infinitely precious to us. Someone we hardly know told my mother the other day that her family eagerly waits for it to appear each year.

I just don’t see a point in being a scrooge about decorations. Do some people go to absurd lengths? Sure, but I choose to be cheered by it rather than annoyed or disdainful.

AndrewA, enjoy Cadfael. I haven’t been a big mystery reader either, but I enjoyed those books - better than the Derek Jacobi series, too.

[14] Posted by oscewicee on 12-17-2009 at 08:26 AM • top

NO ONE could ever possibly beat this Christmas lights orgy:

http://transfigurations.blogspot.com/2009/12/christmas-light-hero.html

[15] Posted by Floridian on 12-17-2009 at 08:53 AM • top

“But I’m not offended by the light displays at all in the neighborhood.  I look forward with a curious mixture of dread and relish to seeing them”.

Well, even garish or gaudy, they’ve got “character”—At the end of the season, all the neighbors had better do a “cat count”...as a cat lover I would hope that no one ends up “Kentucky-Fried Puss”...

grin

[16] Posted by Passing By on 12-17-2009 at 09:12 AM • top

My outdoor Advent/Christmasdecor consists of evergreen wreaths w/red bows hung from above the windows/garage doors.  These are accented by candles iin the window w/photoelectric on/off sensors.  I suppose I’m just not that religious by Good ol’ American standards
BTW…  How many of these carbon-footprinted nightmares would even recognize any text from St. Luke 2?

[17] Posted by aterry on 12-17-2009 at 09:27 AM • top

Absolutely Passing By—this neighborhood has an enthralling cast of characters both in houses and families in them.

[18] Posted by Sarah on 12-17-2009 at 09:36 AM • top

Sarah, that sort of eclectic mix is the best kind. 

grin

[19] Posted by Passing By on 12-17-2009 at 10:49 AM • top

We’ve never had lights up before but my father (part of the tasteful club) put them up for us while my husband and I were away the weekend after Thanksgiving. I am determined to leave them up until Valentine’s day because while our neighborhood and, especially, our street, are beautifully decorated in December, everyone takes them down for New Year’s and it makes January all the more dreary. I suffer from Seasonal Affect Disorder and so the more light I see, the better I will feel. Anyone else want to join me?

[20] Posted by Sarha7nj on 12-17-2009 at 11:42 AM • top

Sarha7nj, I liked the suggestion of leaving them up till February 2. grin What’s another 12 days? I don’t have SAD, but I honestly do enjoy the lights.

[21] Posted by oscewicee on 12-17-2009 at 11:44 AM • top

I love the light displays, the more the merrier, and colors all over the place.  (Was more restrained when I did the front of my own home, though).  And I’m DELIGHTED when people don’t take them down right after Christmas.  Mine whole Christmas decorations have always been up till at least Epiphany… and LIT.  When I was a child, my folks left them up till at least January 12, because that’s my sister’s birthday.  And through being over-busy or over lazy, sometimes mine don’t get down till February.  There was one year when my best friend sarcastically asked if I had thought of replacing the Nativities, shepherds, wise men, etc. (all ornaments were religious) down and replacing them with lilies, open tombs, etc. so it could stay up through Easter!  That was the big tree that was 2 days to put up and 2 days to take down.  Now it’s 2 minutes to put the little fiber optic back in its box.

[22] Posted by Goughdonna on 12-17-2009 at 01:03 PM • top

I pulled a muscle in a sadly inappropriate area of the body, and now find it challenging to stand from a sitting position.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery so you can stand firm[ly] once again.

[23] Posted by Rich Gabrielson on 12-17-2009 at 01:25 PM • top

There are several Christmas light maniacs within a new miles of us, though none in the neighborhood. We never had lights when I was little (the house across the street made up for THAT) and so when we got a house of our own I decided a few were in order. The neighborhood association decorates an immense tree at the AoG church—I wish I had a picture to show you.

[24] Posted by C. Wingate on 12-17-2009 at 02:18 PM • top

Some years ago, when we were living in a small city, our neighbors across the street wouldn’t even talk to us because we weren’t from Around There.  They were very snobbish social climbers.  We were sorely tempted to put up a garishly lighted Elvis with a loud recording of “Blue, Blue Christmas.”

[25] Posted by Katherine on 12-17-2009 at 03:01 PM • top

[10] Sarah

[A]ll right-thinking Christians should read Sansom’s mysteries, but it’s understandable that you have not even heard of them.

I am beginning to see a pattern emerge.  The sample size is only two, but the authors I do not recognize (first PG Wodehouse, and now C.J. Sansom) seem to be obscure British authors. In general, I read much different kinds of books than these authors evidently write.  This book, for example, is my current effort.  As you can see, it is a sober and edifying work of serious historical gravity, and not [affect distasteful sneer] ... fiction.  Where in the normal course of events would I have encountered these individuals? 

carl

[26] Posted by carl on 12-17-2009 at 04:20 PM • top

Well, Carl, will have to give you some credit for that one.  I recall from G S Patton’s biography that being the book he read on his way to N. Africa to engage the author in a serious test of his theories.

But Wodehouse and Samson “obscure” authors?????  If you were in the CoE, this comment might get you defrocked.  If necessary, they would ordain you just so they could defrock you.  As is, you risk a horde of PBS subscribers appearing on your doorstep with placards in protest.

[27] Posted by tjmcmahon on 12-17-2009 at 04:30 PM • top

Oh dear. Wodehouse obscure. Carl, you have missed a lot of laughter.

[28] Posted by oscewicee on 12-17-2009 at 04:42 PM • top

[27] tjmcmahon

As is, you risk a horde of PBS subscribers appearing on your doorstep with placards in protest.

Ah-Ha!  PBS is the common thread.  No wonder I have never heard of them.  Suddenly everything becomes clear.  But I am surprised to find a secret connection between Sarah and PBS.  And here I thought she was orthodox, traditional, conservative even.  So now I must struggle with disillusionment.  Must our champions all have feet of clay?

carl

[29] Posted by carl on 12-17-2009 at 05:42 PM • top

carl: You must read Wodehouse.  You must.

Rest assured that he predates PBS.

[30] Posted by James Manley on 12-17-2009 at 06:10 PM • top

Carl, I so second James Manley’s comment. I learned about Wodehouse from y college roommate, not TV.

[31] Posted by oscewicee on 12-17-2009 at 06:21 PM • top

G’night sweet Sarah, g’night!  I hope you get lots of wonderful reading in these last days of Advent, and I hope you pulled muscle gets unpulled real soon!!  I love Christmas lights and even the garish decorations, but then I am from California and not a proper Southern lady as you are!  And, a good night to Sansom as well!

[32] Posted by Deacon Francie on 12-17-2009 at 06:30 PM • top

Sarah,

I pulled a muscle in a sadly inappropriate area of the body, and now find it challenging to stand from a sitting position.

The sad part is that you have probably diagnosed it as a “glute” problem but it is probably a hamstring. If I am correct stop running and get out your cross country skis. If you insist on running, run flat not up or down hill.

[33] Posted by Fr. Dale on 12-17-2009 at 08:28 PM • top

Huh? Dirt? Sarah you must be in a very strange place which may explain the strange decorations at this time of year.

I do some work (inside) for a small business that makes, installs, and removes residential real estate For Sale signs. The installers have not been able to plant a post in the dirt since sometime in September. Also, since the late October we have had a nice covering of snow - we can’t even SEE dirt.

The past two or three weeks have been particularly delightful with temperatures in the low teens dipping ever lower to produce hoar frost on the trees about two inches thick. Our Heavenly Father really knows how to decorate!

Cheerio!

[34] Posted by iceworm on 12-18-2009 at 07:09 PM • top

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