President bears down on real issues

This should win him another Nobel Peace Prize.

Like a true politician, Obama rallied for peace between the two divas: “I’m all about bringing people together, working for the same cause. I think both outstanding artists are going to be able to make sure that they’re moving forward and not going backwards.”

However, the president didn’t hesitate when asked which singer was his favorite. “Mariah,” Obama said. “She’s actually done some events for us. I’ve gotten to know her and Nick [Cannon]. She’s a wonderful lady,”

But that doesn’t mean the commander-in-chief doesn’t rock out to some Minaj every now and then. “Nicki, I don’t know, but I’ve got her on my iPod.”

This comes just in time for tonight’s town hall style debate.  Non-ideological, undecided voters who get their info from entertainment sites will certainly be moved by the new diva diplomacy style.

Meanwhile, the President also picked up the endorsement of reality TV’s Honey Boo Boo.

“In a theater of this world at mid-day the stage is set and many actors enter, playing parts, wearing masks on their faces, retelling some old story, narrating the events. One becomes a philosopher, though he is not a philosopher. Another becomes a king, though he is not a king, but has the appearance of a king for the story. Another becomes a physician without knowing how to handle even a piece of wood, but wearing the garments of a physician. Another becomes a slave, though he is free; another a teacher, though he does not even know his letters. They appear something other than what they are…” St. John Chrysostom