Greg Gutfeld: Conservatives Must Fight the ‘Tyranny of Cool’
As soon as you realize being cool pays off. When you’re a kid. In classrooms across the country, kids are learning to gain favor from teachers and peers, and the elevation of “pretend-caring” as a function of cool gets you grades and girls. Stretch this over a decade or so into college, and it’s no wonder the streets are flooded with beta males who talk from the back of their throats as they bowl in Brooklyn — ironically.
The cool’s hold on society’s throat is seen everywhere. Remember that Jon Stewart rally a few years back; that was a celebration of the cool over the uncool (the uncool being the Glenn Beck rallies, the Tea Party, FNC watchers). The cool owns the film industry, as villains take on intriguing personalities, while anyone with a blackberry or a briefcase is considered worse than evil — uncool.
Being pro-choice is cool. Speculating too much on what abortion really means — that’s way uncool.
It reminds me of my old joke. “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “You’ll never know.”
Assorted slugs on death row are cool; their victims are uncool — for never really getting over it.
Sometimes coolness can be confusing. Nobody smokes in LA. But they all do in movies. Somehow smoking is cool, only if you’re already cool. When you see a truck driver or a postman smoking, the tolerant break out the phony cough. They’d never do that around Brad Pitt.
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