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December 27, 2012


Bieber and Minaj: Still selling toys

Vorsicht!  Cuidado!  Warning!  Tasteless stuff in the post and at the links.

Hey, old people, remember those thrilling pre-Christmas days of yesteryear when all those toy ads would run during Saturday morning cartoons and weekday afterschool shows?  Remember how our poor parents lived on the bad end of our nagging and begging to put product under the tinsel festooned tree?

Well, those slick MadMen of old have nothing on today’s performing artists.  These kids can do schtick and sell stuff at the same time.  And they have hordes of justice seeking, tolerant and spiritual YOUNG PEOPLE out there with credit cards and phone apps, so mom and dad don’t have to do a thing but pay that monthly bill.

The FM radio station that helps me survey the cultural landscape is done with sappy “Christmas” songs about the poor guy/gal who is down because his/her baby ain’t around, and most blessedly done with that pretentious John Lennon “So This is Christmas” where Yoko keeps popping in to screech “Have a velly melly Kleesmas.”  So I’m back to paragons of contemporary pop - “Today’s Hot Hits!” as the radio reminds me a few times each hour.

One of “Today’s Hot Hits!” is a thingy called “Beauty and a Beat”  featuring very important YOUNG PEOPLE stars Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj.

The song is a about… Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj.  I kid you not, it’s just a dance beat behind the two of them hawking themselves.

It starts with Nicki introducing the products artists,

Yeah, Young Money, Nicki Minaj, Justin

“Young Money” is a clothing line, it appears, which helps Justin and Nicki rake in some money from the YOUNG PEOPLE.

Most of the song is complex yet scintillating verse, as when Justin croons,

Show you off, tonight I wanna show you off
What you got, a billion could’ve never bought

Of course a billion might be just pocket change to these two.  Then Nicki scats,

In time, ink lines, bitches couldn’t get on my incline
World tours, it’s mine, ten little letters on a big sign
Justin Bieber, you know I’mma hit ‘em with the ether
Buns out, wiener, but I gotta keep a eye out for Selener

I’m not going to try and parse all of that… maybe the last line idicates a line of sex toys actually cast from their bodies.  But I can tell you that the bit about “Selener” refers to Bieber’s on again/off again girlfriend, YOUNG PEOPLE actress Selena Gomez.  So we go right from gossip news to a music single and back again, the gossip pumping up the single and the single sellin’ the gossip.

You know, I’m glad my older son is into metal.  Yeah, overpriced t-shirts at the concerts, but otherwise a pretty good deal.


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