Stop Making Excuses and Own Your Behaviour - It’s the Only Path to Forgiveness
It’s always the sign of a bully that, rather than taking responsibility for their own behaviour and the character traits that lead to that behaviour they, instead, seek to deny the reality of what they have done and even blame the victim. Here’s a classic example recorded in the Sydney Morning Herald.
British art collector Charles Saatchi has told a British newspaper that he is divorcing his wife, celebrity chef Nigella Lawson, following an incident in which he grabbed her by the neck outside a London restaurant.
In case you haven’t seen it, here’s one of the many photographs taken of the incident:
Not pretty, is it? Now here’s the even more outrageous bit…
Under the headline “I’m divorcing you Nigella”, 70-year-old Saatchi said in a statement to the Mail on Sunday that he had made a “heartbreaking” decision to separate from his 53-year-old wife because she had not defended him over the row.
“I feel that I have clearly been a disappointment to Nigella during the last year or so, and I am disappointed that she was advised to make no public comment to explain that I abhor violence of any kind against women, and have never abused her physically in any way.”
Saatchi insisted that his actions had not been “violent” and claimed that Lawson, to whom he has been married for 10 years, had grasped his neck in the past because they were both “tactile” people.
Wow. Just wow. Here, again, is Saatchi being “tactile”.
And, somehow, it’s Nigella Lawson’s fault they’re getting divorced because she had not explained to the public that Saatchi abhors violence of all kinds to women. Words fail me. Actually they don’t, but I think they best remain unwritten.
Save for this - when we fail to honestly take responsibility for our behaviour and acknowledge the sin within us we deny ourselves any opportunity to be forgiven or to rebuild broken relationships. Which is bad enough with others, whether they are our spouse or not, but even worse (and yes, it is possible to be even worse than this) when it comes to the way relate to God. And never forget that the mercy available from God is even more spectacular.
To save us from judgemental moralism, aren’t we all in danger of being Saatchi?
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