We’ve discovered some rather disturbing news about the Rev. John Nieman, a nominee for bishop of the Diocese of Rio Grande. The facts are described in two news articles we’ve collected and linked to here.
It’s important to get the sequence of events right, because it underscores the nature and depth of Nieman’s transgression.
Ready? The story is found in this article by the New Jersey Star-Ledger:
According to the lawsuit, the woman’s former husband, identified only as “E.F.,” was hired by St. Mary’s in 1982 as choirmaster and director of music. It notes that the woman is also a musician and music teacher and that the couple had three children.
The youngest child, a boy identified as “A.B.” and named as a plaintiff, is now 15.
The couple was divorced in 1992, two years after separating, says the complaint. “Subsequent to the marital separation, “E.F.” advised his wife and children that he had entered into homosexual relationships with other males and acknowledged that he was homosexual,” says the lawsuit.
The revelation deeply affected “A.B.,” according to the court papers. The lawsuit says the child “experienced emotional distress and was extremely self-conscious about his father’s homosexuality and the effect it would have upon him among peers in the community of Sparta Township.”
The lawsuit says the former husband, from 1992 to 1995 “invited his male lover to attend services.” It says the presence of the father’s new partner added to his son’s emotional distress.
The situation was brought to the attention of a former church rector in 1992 “by a church member and close friend of the family,” according to the complaint. The friend suggested the gay man “should not risk the emotional well-being of his son by having his lover present while performing his duties as choirmaster,” says the lawsuit.
It adds the former rector advised the choirmaster to use “proper discretion” and show concern for his son. After the advice was given, the man’s lover stopped showing up for Sunday services, says the complaint.
Got all that? Man leaves his wife, decides he’s gay, continues to come to church - where his 15-year old son and ex-wife still attend - only now with his gay lover at his side,
Teenage son is understandably devastated, after which a compromise - centered on the child’s well-being - is worked out between the gay couple and the rector who preceded Nieman.
Then Nieman arrives.
Remember, “A.B.” is the son:
When Nieman subsequently became rector he was advised about the situation, according to Pompelio. The lawsuit says the rector met personally with “A.B.” in December 1993 and was told, “in confidence” that the father had agreed in writing to avoid bringing his lover to church.
Let’s review: Nieman met with the teenage son. The teenager told him, in confidence, that a compromise had been worked out, a compromise evidently taken seriously enough by all parties that it was committed to writing.
What does Nieman do after this meeting?
The lawsuit said the father adhered to the agreement for about a year, but then showed up with his partner at Christmas Eve services in 1994. Pompelio’s client spoke with the Right Rev. Bishop John Spong, of the Diocese of Newark, seeking a meeting with the local church vestry, composed of the pastor and lay members elected by the congregation. Pompelio said the meeting was never scheduled.
Instead, on Jan. 15, Nieman brought up the whole affair in a long sermon Pompelio believes was heard by about 225 people. A copy of the 6-page sermon is attached to the lawsuit as an exhibit.
In the sermon, Nieman, who did not respond to a request for comment, said the issue had “plagued St. Mary’s for at least six years,” and should be faced openly.
“We have been in denial now for about six years,” said the priest, freely using the names of those involved. “And while we have been living in that state, accusations and innuendoes have continued to be hurled around, usually behind the scenes. ... Hatred has grown and hostility has festered.”
Nieman flatly stated he would take no part in asking anybody to refrain from attending his church because of their sexual orientation. “Nor will he or she be expected to hide his or her sexual orientation by, for example, leaving a partner at home,” said the rector. “The dignity of gay and lesbian people will be respected here because they are human beings.”
Pompelio stressed the lawsuit is not about “gay rights,” but about the rector’s violation of his client’s right to privacy.
And the outcome of the suit? St. Mary’s had to cough up over forty-two large:
An Episcopal church has agreed to pay $42,500 to a woman who accused a pastor of humiliating her and her family when he gave sermons urging tolerance of her gay ex-husband.
...
A former church rector persuaded the choirmaster to use “proper discretion” in church. But after Nieman arrived in 1994, Scott’s former husband again brought his companion to services.During this time Nieman took to the pulpit before the congregation and, using the names of the people involved, criticized those in his flock who wanted the choirmaster to be discreet.
In settling the lawsuit, the church admitted no wrongdoing.
There you go, Rio Grande.
The Rev. John Nieman.
Nominated to be your next bishop.
62 Comments •
And your point is what? He was speaking truth to power, man! Those old fuddy-dudddies had it coming. Being able to bring to your lover to church, be they male, female of she-male is a fundamental human right. Why are you so filled with hate?
[1] Posted by Bill2 on 03-01-2010 at 05:58 AM • top