I confess, I actually liked the song. The lyric was funny.
Would this be grounds for an annulment?
Irresistible! Predestined for greatness!
carl
OK, I don’t even understand half of these jokes - although I’m quite sure Carl, the Ould guy, and That Kennedy Fellow™ will - but here goes:
You might be a Calvinist if . . .
If your preacher says to turn to Obadiah and you do not use the index, or
If you think a 50-minute sermon is too short, or
If you’ve ever heard a wave of groans sweep through Sunday School when you refer to Romans 9,
…you just might be a Calvinist.
. . . . .
If you are confused when someone uses the term “my Bible” as if they only have one, and
If your Bibles must be replaced in less than a year due to pages separating from the spine, and
If you smile, nod and hold your tongue with your teeth after a lively church service when someone says, “God showed up today”
…you might be a Calvinist.
If you’ve ever shouted “YES!” when the pastor says to turn to 1st Thessalonians, and
If you see 6:37 on a digital clock and think of the Lord Jesus’ words in John, and
If you’ve muted a Thanksgiving football game because it’s interfering with your family discussion of Ephesians 1
…you might be a Calvinist.
Check out the rest for yourselves and get in touch with your inner Calvinist! 
http://tominthebox.blogspot.com/2008/05/you-might-be-calvinist.html
Thanks Carl,
I sent the link to Johnnie (my Calvinist co-conspirator at the Waffle House).
RE: “She’d rather read St. Augustine . . . “
The only line that rings false. True Calvinists don’t read directly from Augustine—they read Calvin’s words about Augustine and that’s good enough for them! Because of course . . . Calvin is Completely Congruent with Augustine except where Augustine was wrong.
; > )
episcopalienated
Thanks, I sent that to Johnnie too - along with notes on which ones I had a ‘match’ on.
Excellent stuff fellows!
Beautiful. Beautiful.
Too funny!
But that sure would not be my husband singing that song, lol! Not ever. Woo-hoo, Jacobus Arminius. ;^)
I don’t think my wife and I have laughed that much all week; not good for a woman recovering from a C-section!
pah, typical Arminian songwriting.
I “think” my wife’s a Calvinist…
Only Calvinism brings certainty and assurance.
Apparently, I do not have a Calvinist bone in my body.
I wonder about the line “I didn’t choose her, she chose me”
Wasn’t the marriage predestined?
Ducking back into Anglo Catholic foxhole.
This is just excellent!
Glenn Bulthuis’ I Want a Calvin Girl
One of my favorite Calvinist jokes would fit this song well:
Her name must be Grace, because I find her irresistible!
Thank you, Moot. My middle daughter’s a Calvin girl. I sent her the link.
#17, Distinguished Lady
You’re welcome, but truth be told, the old stomping grounds just ain’t the same (ask your daughter to bring home a couple of Chimes sometime, then read them cover to cover).
Yeah, I’m going to encourage my Mootette to attend Covenant.
On the plus side, Fr. Andy Gross is a Calvin grad, which proves that at least, sometimes, good things come out of Knollcrest.
Dear Moot,
My daughter worked at Knollcrest all through school. She and her husband are both dedicated Christians. But yeah, there are some, uh, liberal trends. I think it’s the same all over. As my oldest told me when she first went away, you can do anything you want wherever you are. SO true. You can become a Christian on a secular campus (my husband and I did) or you can go the opposite way at a Christian school.
Rock on! I know my wife’s a calvinist.
I also know that my wife is a Calvinist. She is, however, a graduate of Hope College (a Reformed Church in America college, west of Grand Rapids and Calvin)who entered college believing in Jesus but doubting the reliability of Scripture. An NT prof at Hope convinced her of the full reliability of the Bible.
Our mutual commitment to Scripture and to the Reformed faith in an Anglican expression has been a major factor in our being able to survive in the Episcopal Church for 30+ years together. It is also what makes it a delight to now be in the ACNA.
I’m a Calvanist. I own all of Bill Waterson’s books.
Oh, wrong Calvin? Nevermind…
Dear (#19) Distinguished Lady,
RE: “My daughter worked at Knollcrest all through school. She and her husband are both dedicated Christians. But yeah, there are some, uh, liberal trends.”
It sounds like you’ve got a keeper there. Both of them. Well, there you have it: Your daughter, her husband, and Fr. Andy Gross - further proof that good things really can come out of Calvin College.
RE: “I think it’s the same all over. As my oldest told me when she first went away, you can do anything you want wherever you are. SO true. You can become a Christian on a secular campus (my husband and I did) or you can go the opposite way at a Christian school. “
True. The tricky part with Calvin College is that they advertise themselves as a Christian college, then flirt aggressively with worldly influences. Also, their policy of only giving tenure to professors in denominations in fraternal fellowship with the CRC is pretty ridiculous, imho.
I think I’d be a lot happier with Calvin if it could advertise itself as a place like Princeton; founded by Christians but now more interested in its own place at the table. Then, churches and folks like IVF could pick up the slack.
Tell your daughter and her husband that ol’ Moot said to keep on offering their hearts to the Lord, promptly and sincerely.
David Ould LOL!!
pah, typical Arminian songwriting.
I “think” my wife’s a Calvinist…
Check out the response video.
I Think My Daughter’s an Arminian