Two words: New Hampshire.

He’s gay?  Who would have ever guessed?

Robinson said that because he will not be permitted inside the Lambeth Conference, he will instead be outside the meeting daily, talking to anyone who will listen. He said he is working with gay organizations internationally who hope to have gay people from throughout the Anglican Communion in London to show the bishops that the issue is global.

Well, this could be a reason.  Since he can’t be in on the meetings, he will be outside making as much noise as possible.  If this does not discourage more orthodox bishops from attending Lambeth, I don’t know what will.

Five years after he was consecrated a bishop in a nearby hockey arena, wearing a bulletproof vest under his new golden vestments, Gene Robinson is bracing for another round of controversy.

Has VGR had death threats upon his life to make him want to wear a bullet proof vest under vestments? He knew he was going to cause controveresy when he chose the path he did. PLEASE!!!!!

In June, Robinson plans to enter into a civil union with his partner of 20 years, Mark Andrew. He says he will do everything he can to keep photographers away, out of deference to those who find his same-sex relationship offensive…

Yeah right!

Robinson said that because he will not be permitted inside the Lambeth Conference, he will instead be outside the meeting daily, talking to anyone who will listen.

Loads of media! Focus will be drawn away from Lambeth and all on VGR!

Robinson believes that, regardless of what happens this summer, that the Episcopal Church will consider lifting a moratorium next year on electing more gay bishops and on developing official liturgies to bless same-sex couples.

“Consider lifting?” Trust they will. Bank on it.

“It’s almost laughable - the premise seems to be that I could undo in an hour an entire lifetime of orthodox teaching,” he said. “If I am so off-base in my thinking and in my theological reasoning, wouldn’t that be apparent to people? So I think the fear must be that I will make too much sense, that I will actually describe the God that people know in their lives, and then that will demand change.”

I’m at a loss for words!

The referent in question is not a country bishop because the office of Chorepiscopos (from the Greek Χωρεπισκοπος meaning “country bishop") is now extinct as a clerical office in the Western Church.

VGR says: “ If I’m so off base in my thinking and in my theological reasoning, wouldn’t that be apparent to people? “

Laughing Out Loud!!!! It certainly IS apparent to people Mr. Robinson, especially people who profess to be believers in God’s Holy Word! And by the way, “theological reasoning”..........oh come now. This man sounds more preposterous as time moves on. Lord have mercy.

Because God is trying to get through to him that he must quite the ministry or quite his gay lifestyle. Then there’s a common piece of wisdom that people who enter into ministry without truly being called often find their efforts frustrated. Paul’s first go at being an apostle is a good example of this. Of course when the time was right and God taught Paul what he needed to know, things were different.

To paraphrase the Genie in Alladin:
Immense cosmic ego. Little-bitty diocese.

Because he doesn’t have a charming theme song.

I suggest the following, with apologies to Rod McKuen and Oliver:
(yea, I know I’m using his first name below, but not in a vulgar way).
If you want to sing along here’s a link to a MIDI file.

“Gene, Gene, roses are red
All the leaves have gone green
And the clouds are so low
You can touch them, and so
Come out to the meadow, Gene
Gene, Gene, you’re young and alive
Come out of your half-dreamed dream
And run, if you will, to the top of the hill
Open your arms, bonnie Gene
Chorus:
Till the sheep in the valley come home my way
Till the stars fall around me and find me alone
When the sun comes a-singin’ I’ll still be waitin’
For Gene, Gene, roses are red
And all of the leaves have gone green
While the hills are ablaze with the moon’s yellow haze
Come into my arms, bonnie Gene
(Gene, Gene)
Gene, you’re young and alive!!
Come out of your half-dreamed dream
And run, if you will to the top of the hill
Come into my arms, bonnie Gene
Gene
La-la-la-la, etc.”

Because there are so many mirrors in this world that have yet to see his reflection!

Our Episco-burgers are made only from freshly ground beef exclusively from Newark oxen and Los Angeles sacred cows, slaughtered canonically with our proprietary razor.

He is in yet another article in the Guardian slagging off the ABC.  We are all going to be bored rigid come the summer.

I don’t suppose country bishops get much attention.

Wasn’t Bp. Robinson first a simple country priest before he was elected, and later consecrated bishop?  Where did the simple country go then?

Wait, wait… maybe it’s because he’s travelling outside of New Hampshire (for what seems like) every other week to promote (a) same-sex espiscopate, (b) same-sex blessings, (c) same-sex Lambeth (with his own 3-bishop SWAT team), (d) media appreciation of the ongoing fight for Truth, Justice, and the Episcopal Way for all GLBT children of God (and incidentally straight people, if they’re inclusive enough), or (e) his self.  These are not mutually exclusive.

Honestly, who has time for overseeing, when there’s so much to be done?!?

He’s Gene, Gene, the travelin’ machine.

You know, you could probably cast the entire ‘Gong Show’ with the Episcopal inner circle....

I’m just sayin’ is all.

Our Episco-burgers are made only from freshly ground beef exclusively from Newark oxen and Los Angeles sacred cows, slaughtered canonically with our proprietary razor.

A top ten reason why Gene is not a “simple country bishop:”

There aren’t enough cameras and microphones in Connecticut.  You have to go to England (or LA, or NYC or Montreal, or ...) to find enough media to announce that you wish you were in Connecticut being a simple Bishop.

Just a simple country bishop.
Just a simple country bishop making a spectacle of himself.
He’ll make a good sideshow to the main ring of the Lambeth circus.
The Rabbit.

To take it seriously.....
10) Gave a speech to the HoB about why he should be invited to Lambeth, and did NOT include- “to bring the people of my diocese into closer communion with the other members of the Anglican Communion.”

8) He took the job, knowing full well that it would split the communion.

9) Has given numerous interviews, including the New Yorker, in which he denies the Nicene Creed.

Hmmm.- I posted those two so fast, the numbers got reversed.

7) He travels around the country as a proponent for political causes rather than as an apostle of Christ.

6) The only parts of the Bible that apply to him are the parts he likes.

5) He is living in a sexual relationship outside of marriage- something no old fashioned country bishop does.

Sorry, life is intervening, someone else will have to finish up.

10.  It’s all the presses fault.  They hound the poor man.
9 His impish smile and gamine quality just make him a natural for the
paparazzi.
8.  Oscar Wilde.  He set the expection for urbane, witty and
sophisticated for gay gentleman. Sorry Bishop you do not follow in
the steps of simple and country.
7.  Dallas was cancelled ages ago.  The world has been waiting
for a good prime time soap.  Pick your sponsor now.
6. Queer Eye For The Straight Guy.  It upped the awareness
that gays are helpful and shrewd judges of just what touch
those problem areas need. 
5.  The TV writer’s strike.  We take our drama where we can
get it.  And the Bishop beats “Parking Wars” by a longshot.
4.  Henry VIII dissolution of the monastaries.  If not for this Bishop
Robinson could indulge his inner Trappist.
3.  Lack of a Monarchy in the U.S.  let’s face it Church pageantry
is the closest thing we have to royal processions, ceremonies

continuing the above.  3.  Lack of a Monarchy in the U.S.  let’s face it Church pageantry is the closest thing we have to royal processions, ceremonies and the like.  Bishops just suit pomp and brouhaha better than simple country clerics and the people know this.

2.  Not being seen at enough NASCAR events.  Nuff said.
and the number 1 reason.
1.  Your independent cable network show.  “ All Gene All The Time,
Starring Gene, Produced by Gene, Directed by Gene.  With
special guest hosts “ GLBTUWTH progressive Episcopalians
who talk about the New Hampshire Bishop desire to be a simple
country priest.  Call now and donate and receive the Bishop
of New Hampshire action figure plus the I missed Lambeth
Coloring Book.  Greta Garbo wept.

GLBTUWTH???? Could this be the sound a person makes while drowning?

the snarkster

Some reasons?

*There were no openings in simple countries at the time, so he had to settle for a more complicated one.

*A lifelong and unquenchable urge to act like Norma Desmond ("Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my closeup...").

*Since Sammy Davis’ death, there is nobody else to continue the tune: “I gotta be me ... Who else can I be, but who I am ...”

*...duh, what else is a vestment horse to do?

*Because simple country bishops don’t generate enough hits on google.

*The intoxicating rush of seeing your name in an RSS feed?

*Because he broke Echo’s heart.

I’ll bet I could come up with a way that he would no longer be known as the gay bishop----Oh, I forgot, that would infringe on his autonomy.  Too much like obedience.  Wouldn’t want that.

Must resist……. Must fight the urge…..

Oh what the heck, I’m Episcopalian!  So I’m going to “live into”

The Top 10 Reasons Why Bishop V. Gene Robinson Cannot Be A “Simple Country Bishop”:

10.  Purple clashes with the green on John Deere tractors.

9.  His “I Just Want To Be A Simple Country Bishop” lecture tour keeps getting in the way. 

8. An irrational fear of moose.

7.  You can’t get mitres in ‘Hunter Orange’ or ‘Mossy Oak’.  Even at Cabela’s.

6.  A moose bit his sister once.  It was veri nasti.

5.  Nobody in Franconia gets the ‘Vicar of Dibly’ references in his sermons.

4.  Or the ‘Will & Grace’ jokes.

3.  He doesn’t understand what “ya cahn’t get theah from heah.” means. (Especially as it relates to Lambeth….)

2.  Giggling every time he says, “It’s wonderful to be in Dixville Notch.”

And the Number One Reason Why Bishop V. Gene Robinson Cannot Be A “Simple Country Bishop”:

Nothing is ever simple for a June bride.

Livin’ into the MDG’s, one filet mignon at a time.

There aren’t enough cameras and microphones in Connecticut. You have to go to England (or LA, or NYC or Montreal, or ...) to find enough media to announce that you wish you were in Connecticut being a simple Bishop.

Yo, Pilgrim, get back in the Mayflower and check out my post #1 in order to get your geographic bearings back.

No sane country bishop would give the vertical pronoun such a workout.

Yo, Pilgrim, get back in the Mayflower and check out my post #1 in order to get your geographic bearings back.

Country bishops know better than to let bullsh*t and chickensh*t get into their mouths.

Country bishops never need to carry more than one handkerchief and then only to dress up a pocket or offer to the bereaved.

No country bishop would even think of having a “5-hanky blub.”
http://kraalspace.blogspot.com/2008/03/braxtons-lear-danger-gene-robinson.html#links

Country bishops wear situationally appropriate vests.

Country bishops leave egg-laying to hens.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Country bishops know better than to drive off their flocks.

as a resident of the fair state of CT, I’d like to express my thanks to Smuggs for clarifying the geographical situation.  our bishop may like his theology “loosey goosey” (that’s a direct quote), but I haven’t heard him dispute the Nicene Creed (only whether our church is “creedal"), and his wife is a very nice lady.

Country bishops know the difference between cure of souls and manure of trolls.

Country bishops hold a high escatology.

Faux country bishops unwittingly hold forth in high scatology.

And the number one reason : [as sung by the happy couple on their wedding day]:

NewWark is where I’d rather stay.
I get allergic smelling hay.
I just adore a penthouse view.
Dah-ling I love you but give me a rainbow pew…

...The souls?
...The stoles!
...Queer love
... It’s from above !

You are my wife.
Good bye, city life.
Green Acres we are there.

Oooof....
Irenaeus nailed it much more succintly.
A bunch of times…
Dang.

OK, for my money, it’s cliffg with Paula Loughlin so close as to need a photo finish…
My favorites?:

8.  Oscar Wilde.  He set the expection [sic] for urbane, witty and sophisticated for gay gentleman. (P. L.)

2.  Giggling every time he says, “It’s wonderful to be in Dixville Notch.” (cliffg)

I have to say it was this last that gave cliffg the edge in my book.

West coast, thanks for catching the error.  My fingers were not listening to my brain today.

Reason #45?

Maybe it’s because of his collection of Miami Lucha videos?

Mr. Robinson is not just a country bishop.
why?

Mr. Robinson keeps “carp-ing” about those that object…
to his teaching his flock; that personal sin choices over God’s Holy Scriptures are a blessed thing.

"The clash of purple vestments and green on John Deere tractors”....

FOR the money, folks, that is the funniest line yet!  cliffg is hands-down THE best in this little competition.  Oh, yes, others are swell and fine, but that’s the single best line, on why the gay soiree’ can’t be a simple country bishopee’!

cliffg is hands-down THE best in this little competition.

cliffg:  “YEEHAW!!!!  I got one! I got one!”

SMACK!

cliffg:  “OUCH!  That hur......”

The Lord and Creator of All, quoting his favorite Star Wars character: “Great kid.  Now don’t get cocky!”

I want to be on Chris Johnson’s blogroll.

#29
Your, “Living into the MDGs one filet mignon at a time” had me rolling on the floor.  Priceless!

He cited as evidence a trip he took last fall to the Pacific Rim to meet with concerned Anglican leaders…

Someone has to be the Presiding Bishop’s fashion coordinator....

Celebrate our Katie’s 54th birthday!

evan miller: 

#29
Your, “Living into the MDGs one filet mignon at a time” had me rolling on the floor.  Priceless!

I was #30, nor #29.  Me gets cranky when me accolades are mis-directed.

I would offer the following APA diagnostic criteria for narcissistic personality disosrder:
A person with narcissistic personality disorder:

Reacts to criticism with feelings or rage, shame, or humiliation
Takes advantage of others to achieve own goals
Has feelings of self-importance
Exaggerates achievements and talents
Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
Requires constant attention and admiration
Lacks empathy

Big hat, no cattle.

Isn’t the expression “all hat, no cattle”?