I first became aware of Al Kimel’s blog “Pontifications” back when he was an Episcopal priest, struggling with what he was to do. I then viewed from afar his journey to the Roman Catholic church, in quite a lengthy and thoughtful process. I learned a little something about what Anglo-Catholics believe about authority, the church, tradition, and more. I at least was able to see a bit of their perspective.
Other than the fact that we both loved Anglicanism—loved it—and that I believe that we love Jesus, Al Kimel and I had little in common. Theologically, he seemed to be pretty much a Roman Catholic prior to his conversion to that church, and I simply do not believe some of the major claims of Roman Catholicism.
But I can recognize a kindred breaking heart when I see one—and it’s probably in our hearts where our commonality may be found.
We are all of us—at least Communion Conservatives, and I suspect Federal Conservatives as well, though I don’t want to speak for them—experiencing an incredibly hard and deep and lasting loss. On earth, we will never get back what is gone.
I don’t say this tritely or shallowly, but in light of the severity of the loss, I hope that some will at least consider visiting a physician and seeing if the shattering “triggering event” that has occurred over the past four years should bring a diagnosis, and with a diagnosis, the appropriate medication and counseling by someone qualified in devastating grief and loss. And yes, I know I can’t make such a diagnosis, and yes, I know that such a loss is not “fixable” with pills or talk; but sometimes it helps to get through the first full bloom of the piercing pain and the resulting aftermath of numbness and loss of joy.
Read his departing blog post—it’s fine writing, and he quotes Tolkien.
And here is an excerpt:
What was I to do? I had been a priest for over 20 years. I knew that I could not join one of the multiple Anglican sects. The fall of the Episcopal Church into heresy had convinced me that Protestantism was incapable of standing against the corrosive tides of modernity. There were only three options for me—Catholicism, Orthodoxy, or agnosticism. After two years of deliberation, I found myself, much to my surprise, drawn into the communion of the Catholic Church.
Becoming Catholic has brought many blessings, but it has not healed the sorrows of my heart. Indeed, in some ways it has intensified these sorrows. But this is all very private. All I need say is that I often find them overwhelming. God is silent. I am reduced to silence.
God’s peace to Al Kimel,
From someone who has a faint inkling.
24 Comments •
I was an occasional lurker on Pontifications. Although I am sorry to read this, I can partially understand his reasons to cease blogging. His final post brought tears to my eyes. May our Lord bless and heal you, Al, in the way we all need healing. Your online presence will be missed!