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Monday, September 10, 2007 • 7:54 am

I post it as reminder to all of us - myself as much as anyone - that among those with the attractions for which our Worthy Opponents are campaigning, are also some of our allies. We need always to remember that while so much of this debate sadly boils down to "us" and "them," some of "them" are also some of "us."
Two days ago a commenter calling him/herself "RCtoEC" made this comment regarding Stand Firm's expressions of disapproval over remarks attributed by the UPI to Bishop Isaac Orama of the Anglican Church of Nigeria - a story the UPI has since withdrawn:
I think it is not genuine for anyone on this website to condemn hate against homosexuals. The very nature of this Stand Firm website is the disgust and hate of all homosexuals. So when you make yourselves feel better by posturing against a man who says things like “those people do not deserve to live”, realize that he is just being honest. You really think that, but want to feel good about yourselves so you “condemn” such statements. What a joke. Who are you kidding?

That comment isn't remarkable - we've long known that our Worthy Opponents have decided to believe the worst about us, facts be damned, so RCtoEC's remarks come as no surprise. What is remarkable, though is how reader 'episcopalienated' responded yesterday afternoon. I post it as reminder to all of us - myself as much as anyone - that among those with the attractions for which our Worthy Opponents are campaigning, are also some of our allies. Think back to the comments you've made here, and the things you think in the privacy of your own thoughts. Imagine how difficult it must be to be gay, yet come back to Stand Firm every day, and think of us as your brothers and sisters in Christ. Then imagine whether or not you're made of the stuff it takes do so. We need always to remember that while so much of this debate sadly boils down to "us" and "them," some of "them" are also some of "us."
RCtoEC:

Welcome to Stand Firm. I’m guessing that your moniker indicates you’ve made the transition from the Roman Church to the Episcopal Church. If so, we’re in the same denomination. Thank you for your rather challenging--and, dare I say it, quite provocative--initial comment. Anything that provides an occasion for greater clarity is to be welcomed, I suppose. Let’s see if I can help.

I am a celibate gay male who adheres to the teachings of Holy Scripture and the Church on human sexuality (and on everything else that’s relevant, I hope!) and I’ve been reading and posting here for about six months. In my estimation, the opposition of the Stand Firm bloggers, and most of its posters, to what can be properly called homophobia is quite genuine. The current reaction to views that have apparently been wrongly attributed to Bishop Orama really is further evidence of that, if such were needed.

However, if you are convinced that any expression of disagreement with the notion that a sexually active gay lifestyle is compatible with Christian teaching is inherently hateful, then no amount of evidence to the contrary may persuade you otherwise. Nevertheless, I would ask you to keep an open mind and try to engage those you are suspicious of in meaningful dialogue. You may be in for a few delightful surprises.

Of course, some might suggest that I, too, am part of the “hate” problem. Since I believe that my own sexuality is disordered (regardless of how it got that way) and that the temptations I face in that area are to be overcome rather than indulged in, I am sometimes accused of hating myself. To that, my first inclination is to say that I only wish that I “hated” myself a great deal more. If so, I might be a better Christian. But the healthy spirit of self abnegation that the gospel enjoins on all Christians is not at all a pathological state of self loathing that prevents us from understanding who we truly are, before and after we come to Christ, nor does it cause us to “hate” ourselves in quite the same way that some of my critics intend. At least, I don’t think so.

So what will you find here at Stand Firm, and what can you expect where matters pertaining to homosexuality are concerned? Mostly, conservative Anglicans who are doing their very best to respond appropriately to issues that may not have been much a part of their experience in the past. Some have had a broad interaction with gay people, and some have not. Some understand the real problems associated with homosexuality these days, some better than others, and some not so much. Some appear to have a genuine burden of the heart for witness and ministry to homosexual persons, and some may not quite be comfortable with going that far yet. Some have quirks and pet theories that I think are extra-Biblical but . . . they may think the same of some of my ideas.

Mr. Griffith points out that posters can sometimes be “insensitive.” Yes, they can be. (I think it would be nice if we could limit the use of the term “sodomite” to those who lived in Sodom--but maybe that’s just me!) You don’t have to be afraid to call them on it when they are. But if you’re willing to make the effort, you’ll also discover that the overwhelming majority of them actually do love and care about you, as befits a Christian. Why not love them back? It’s kind of exciting and immensely pleasurable, actually! Also, they--we--will pray for you, RCtoEC, a lot. And that’s a good thing!

I’m here because, as an Episcopalian, I need to know how this Anglican Communion realignment “thing” is all going to shake out. I have a stake in it too. I want to have a voice, and I want to be included. I’m also here because I want to give witness to what I believe, and in all of the Anglican Blog World, this is one of the very best places to do it.

Don’t be afraid, RCtoEC. Come and see.

God bless!

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Comments:

That is a comment that shows the love of Jesus Christ and does so in a way to which we all should aspire.  Whoever you are, Episcopalianated, may God bless you and I hope we can all learn from you.

YBIC,
Phil Snyder

[1] Posted by Philip Snyder on 09-10-2007 at 08:22 AM • top

episcopalienated-
I had intended to post the other day when I first read your comment, but my old computer and slow connection make it difficult to read, much less post on, the longer threads.  What you had to say is quite extraordinary.  You have our prayers and our thanks.  In these days when it seems so much time and “ink” (what is the internet equivalent for ink?) is wasted on infighting among the orthodox, your post serves as a reminder of why we ARE orthodox in the first place. 
  I make no claim myself to “understanding” homosexuality, although I account several gay people as close friends.  But you have indeed in your comment, shown me a new perspective.
  And Greg- thanks for posting this as a separate thread.
    TJ

[2] Posted by tjmcmahon on 09-10-2007 at 08:43 AM • top

I love the way Episcopalianated has expressed the healthy Christian spirit of self abnegation to compulsive/ sin behaviors. I’ve just substituted a few words to make this broadly applicable.

Since I believe that my own compulsive behavior/ sin is disordered (regardless of how it got that way) and that the temptations I face in that area are to be overcome rather than indulged in, I am sometimes accused of hating myself. To that, my first inclination is to say that I only wish that I “hated” myself a great deal more. If so, I might be a better Christian. But the healthy spirit of self abnegation that the gospel enjoins on all Christians is not at all a pathological state of self loathing that prevents us from understanding who we truly are, before and after we come to Christ, nor does it cause us to “hate” ourselves in quite the same way that some of Christianity’s critics suppose.

[3] Posted by Deja Vu on 09-10-2007 at 09:59 AM • top

I continue to be blown away by episcopalianated’s gracious, but thoughtful, responses to our Worthy Opponents. 

Hey, man - Gimme some of that.

[4] Posted by Moot on 09-10-2007 at 10:08 AM • top

Episcopalienated’s posts here always lift my heart. Although I do not share his outlook, the maturity and compassion with which he makes his points is exemplary—all the more so since he practices what he preaches, and is never (in my experience) mean or mean-spirited even in disagreement.

FWIW, I thought that RCtoEC’s comments were unreasonable. That’s not to say that commenters at SFIF never cross the line between acceptable criticism and unacceptable bile (but that’s true elsewhere too, isn’t it? and these issues do get people heated on both sides!); nor that there are never comments here which suggest, at least to me, elements of regrettable misunderstanding or prejudice. But the sort of blanket attack RCtoEC mounted is quite unfair to most people here.

[5] Posted by Paul Stanley on 09-10-2007 at 10:15 AM • top

Episcopalienated, I wanted to quote the very same passage that Deja Vu has quoted above. You expressed so well what was once widely understood among Christians. Now, it seems very difficult to make people understand that we don’t hate ourselves when we try to see who we are “before and after we come to Christ.” Or to understand our joy when we see Christ working in our lives, giving us grace to overcome our fallenness.

I would also like to say that I would like to see the word “sodomite” barred except in its Biblical usage.  If we hate the sin and love the sinner, “sodomite” is not a word we really need.

[6] Posted by oscewicee on 09-10-2007 at 10:26 AM • top

Anyways - Didn’t Jesus say that the inhabitants of Sodom would rise up against another group of folks (“present generation,” crosses my mind, but I’m too lazy and pressed for time to verify this right now)? 

As an insult to antinomians, the remark could be inappropriate by virtue of the fact the citizenry of Sodom are better (in God’s eyes) than those outside of the Kingdom, in the present age.

[7] Posted by Moot on 09-10-2007 at 10:59 AM • top

Thanks Greg.

Recently I had an extended conversation with a person who identified that he/she was “addicted to narcotics”, but always still in pain. Forgive my deliberate gender neutral language. It’s done to create greater privacy.

This person was in treatment with a Christian counsellor, after discovering that the NA chapter here was not adequate for the situation.

This person floored me in the humility and insight displayed. The person was clear that once a binge started, immediately the addiction would take hold and 100-200 pills per day would be used. Lying to family, stealing, etc promptly followed, only to be ended by “hitting bottom”. This person was at the time of our conversation, abstinate from narcotics. Every day, for this person, is a constant struggle. The addition and craving is always present. Only by saturating the mind with the awareness of Christ’s sufficiency and presence could a binge be avoided, I was told.

I hope that I was able to encourage this person. I reminded him/her of the fact that this particular sin was not any worse than other sins, although it was more obvious and immediately destructive than many “private” sins. It struck me that there is a gift here, and that in actuality, this individual has greater insight into the human condition than most of us “nice” people.

We all have an addiction, and it is to sin. We may be able to hide it, or obscure it. Many of us are able to use religious language to suggest that we have “moved beyond” our problems. As soon as we attempt to minimize our sins, however, disaster lurks.

Thanks Episcopalianated for showing us——-ourselves. Thanks for your stuggle. You are an inspiration to all of us.

[8] Posted by Capn Jack Sparrow on 09-10-2007 at 11:17 AM • top

I think it would be nice if we could limit the use of the term “sodomite” to those who lived in Sodom—but maybe that’s just me!

It would also be nice if the term “lesbian” was limited to those folks who are or were residents, natives or denizens of the Isle of Lesbos or “vandal” was only applied to members of a certain East Germanic tribe closely related to the Goths.  Such is linguistics.

[9] Posted by Piedmont on 09-10-2007 at 11:47 AM • top

It’s not just linguistics in this case, Piedmont. There are other words/expressions that will do.

[10] Posted by oscewicee on 09-10-2007 at 12:11 PM • top

Episcopalienated, you impress me more with each comment.  May the Lord give me grace to imitate your balanced, loving tone and your walk cleaving to Jesus and leaving sin.

[11] Posted by Milton on 09-10-2007 at 12:19 PM • top

Thank you, Episcopalienated, for your charity towards us all. 

Sometimes, when I’m reading through threads very quickly, I just read the comments from people whom I know are wise. (TJMcMahon is always on my list.)  Now I have someone else to add to my list.

Blessing to you.

[12] Posted by selah on 09-10-2007 at 12:38 PM • top

Thank you for this reminder.  Indeed, I’ve had conversations with homosexual persons whose spiritual insights are very deep and have blessed me immensely.  These persons are especially vulnerable because they are targeted by radicals on both the tradition and the anti-tradition sides.

[13] Posted by Alice Linsley on 09-10-2007 at 12:50 PM • top

oscewicee:  I was refering to the phenomenon of how the meaning of certain words or phrases can change over time.  Take for example “Samaritan” which once was used to refer to a member of a despised tribe.  Now it is considered a postive term.

[14] Posted by Piedmont on 09-10-2007 at 12:51 PM • top

It’s not just linguistics in this case, Piedmont. There are other words/expressions that will do.

I think that’s right. THe word “Sodomite” is a particularly perjorative term as one other website in particular has repeatedly shown us.

[15] Posted by David Ould on 09-10-2007 at 06:10 PM • top

Piedmont, “sodomite” is a word that seems to hate the sinner even more than the sin. We don’t need it, IMHO.

[16] Posted by oscewicee on 09-10-2007 at 06:34 PM • top

I think sodomite is just a bit more pejorative than homophobe.  I don’t like either.

The divide is wide.  Yes, there are people who are both “us” and “them” at the same time, but, really, if we can’t love people as fellow Christians, can’t we at least try to love them as enemies?

[17] Posted by Paul B on 09-10-2007 at 06:48 PM • top

I gotta say, Episcopalienated, If I wasn’t such a crusty cuss I’d ‘a bawled out three snotrags reading that post!  Seriously- I love ya in the Lord, Brother- thanks for the wise words!

Your nick reminds me of an old Rez song, “Alienated.”  You might not be old enough to remember it.  Part of the lyric reads,


I have chosen the narrow road
Lord, You gave me such an easy load
I look at Your cross and I see Your love…

Lord, You are Alienated from this world
Talked about but politely neglected
Alienated from this world
And I’m beginning to understand

God bless ya, Brother!

Robert

[18] Posted by Robert Easter on 09-10-2007 at 07:33 PM • top

My goodness, what do we have here?  Another outbreak of “mere Christianity.”  How marvelous!

All of your kind comments have touched my heart deeply.  Thanks for making me feel like an ordinary Christian.  That’s all I aspire to be.

But that’s not really quite right, is it?  All Christians are extraordinary, aren’t they?  Well, some of you certainly are.  You give me more to strive towards.

I have to confess that lately I have felt under conviction about losing sight of what really matters in the midst of all this blogging stuff.  I do get my back up at times, and I’m sorry for those occasions when I’ve responded to critical comments with a sharp retort.  It’s all very well to give our wits a walk now and then, but I am ashamed of those moments when I’ve allowed the demands of Christian charity to take a back seat to my own perceived need for ego gratification.  That, and a wicked sense of humor don’t always leave me at my best.  Even now, some of “the street” may still be on me, and I do ask pardon of any and all that I may have offended with some of my replies.

But Paul Stanley, if I have never given offense to your gentle soul, then I thank Almighty God that a sin as awful as that has not been laid to my charge.

Moot!  You could call me a Visigoth, or even a Neanderthal, and I would only laugh.  That “vibe” thing is still going on.  What can I tell you?  You have that effect on people.  Or on me, at least.

As for Greg Griffith—that is one man whose church I would never be afraid to visit.  Not at all!  I’d even look forward to sharing a pew with him and his wife.

And if I ever make it “down under” I would almost certainly have to check out some of that fine expository preaching from David Ould.  I’ll be the guy on the front row taking notes and shouting “Amen!” every time you say something I understand, Mr. Ould.  Well, I do understand some of it.  You could always explain the rest over a brew at the pub . . . and my confessor doesn’t need to know a thing about it. wink

Good night to all, and God bless!

[19] Posted by episcopalienated on 09-10-2007 at 07:39 PM • top

Robert Easter:

Thanks for the great song.  I’ve never heard it before, but it gives me the best reason I’ve had all day for feeling “alienated.”

And I’m old enough to remember “Tantum Ergo.” 

Almost! smile

[20] Posted by episcopalienated on 09-10-2007 at 07:48 PM • top

RCtoEC wrote:

I think it is not genuine for anyone on this website to condemn hate against homosexuals. The very nature of this Stand Firm website is the disgust and hate of all homosexuals.

Greg Griffith commented:

That comment isn’t remarkable - we’ve long known that our Worthy Opponents have decided to believe the worst about us, facts be damned, so RCtoEC’s remarks come as no surprise.

I am not sure it is always that they have consciously decided to think ill of us. It occurred to me recently to wonder whether in at least some cases, they are truly afraid of us. I wonder, because there was a recent thread here on Stand Firm that contained several comments to which I reacted with literally gut-twisting fear and anger, as if my physical safety was at risk. (The posts were off topic for the thread they were on, let alone this one, so I won’t be any more specific than that.) I wondered, as perhaps RCtoEC wonders, “How could they say such things unless they hate me and everyone like me?” I don’t suppose it was anyone’s intention to frighten me, but I was frightened just the same. (And the thing I was afraid of is a great deal less likely to happen than what a gay person may fear, or indeed may already have experienced.)

I wonder if we orthodox are inadvertently frightening gay people in a similar way, with how we speak of homosexuals, the use we make of Bible passages, and maybe other things. How do we get the Gospel message across, without provoking a “fight or flight” response?

[21] Posted by kyounge1956 on 09-10-2007 at 08:25 PM • top

OK - I’m gonna stick my two pence/cents/whatever’s worth in here.

Sometimes I skim-read whole threads, but whenever I see one name, I stop, pause for a few seconds and then read every word. That name is ‘episcopalienated’.

Apart from having the best moniker on this board (sorry SpongJohn - you are a close second!), my dear brother in Christ always seems to say something which oozes grace AND truth at every turn. I hear hints of the Master’s Voice in what he says and how he says it.

Keep the faith, my dear brother. We all love you very much!

[22] Posted by Derek Smith on 09-10-2007 at 08:49 PM • top

And if I ever make it “down under” I would almost certainly have to check out some of that fine expository preaching from David Ould.

too kind, far too kind. You’d be more than welcome.

I’ll be the guy on the front row taking notes and shouting “Amen!” every time you say something I understand, Mr. Ould.  Well, I do understand some of it.

well that’s more than Greg (but then that’s not exactly saying much…)

You could always explain the rest over a brew at the pub . . . and my confessor doesn’t need to know a thing about it.

I’ll hold you to it.

[23] Posted by David Ould on 09-10-2007 at 08:59 PM • top

I confess to having been somewhat chagrined at many of the comments I have read here at SF over the past week or so—the tone to me has often seemed… well… strident, in many cases (and, honestly, I am sure I ought to be painted with that brush myself!).

I felt, as I read episcopalienated’s response to RCtoEC, a deep sigh of relief, and a wave of peace return to the blogosphere.  Thank you, friend, for that godly word, and that example to us all. 

And I agree with Derek Smith—you have the best moniker on the site!

[24] Posted by West Coast Cleric on 09-10-2007 at 11:59 PM • top

You could call me a Visigoth, or even a Neanderthal, and I would only laugh.

I would only ever accuse you of being a Christian, a brother, and a friend.  So there!

[25] Posted by Moot on 09-11-2007 at 03:04 AM • top

Hi Sarah, I know you read all these, and wondering if you might like to post my sermon entitled, A Prophetic Call To Living Waters, which I preached two weeks ago at Chirst Church.  It contextualizes our issues in TEC and the Anglican Communion as an application of the Book of Jeremiah.  It shows the 100 year slide of TEC as well as the remarkable renewal of Evanglicalism that occured durind that same time.  You can hear it via MP3 at http://www.christchurchhw.org 

Blessings,

Fr. Mario Bergner

[26] Posted by Mario Bergner on 09-11-2007 at 05:10 AM • top

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