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Ted Haggard’s letter to New Life Church

Sunday, November 5, 2006 • 3:58 pm

November 05, 2006

Ted Haggard’s letter to New Life Church

The following letter from Ted Haggard, former senior pastor of New Life Church, was read to the congregation this morning at the 9 a.m. and 11 a.m. services.

To my New Life Church family:

I am so sorry. I am sorry for the disappointment, the betrayal, and the hurt. I am sorry for the horrible example I have set for you.

I have an overwhelming, all-consuming sadness in my heart for the pain that you and I and my family have experienced over the past few days. I am so sorry for the circumstances that have caused shame and embarrassment to all of you.

I asked that this note be read to you this morning so I could clarify my heart’s condition to you. The last four days have been so difficult for me,
my family and all of you, and I have further confused the situation with some of the things I’ve said during interviews with reporters who would catch me coming or going from my home. But I alone am responsible for the confusion caused by my inconsistent statements. The fact is, I am guilty of sexual immorality, and I take responsibility for the entire problem.

I am a deceiver and a liar. There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I’ve been warring against it all of my adult life.

For extended periods of time, I would enjoy victory and rejoice in freedom. Then, from time to time, the dirt that I thought was gone would resurface, and I would find myself thinking thoughts and experiencing desires that were contrary to everything I believe and teach.

Through the years, I’ve sought assistance in a variety of ways, with none of them proving to be effective in me. Then, because of pride, I began deceiving those I love the most because I didn’t want to hurt or disappoint them.

The public person I was wasn’t a lie; it was just incomplete. When I stopped communicating about my problems, the darkness increased and finally dominated me. As a result, I did things that were contrary to everything I believe.

The accusations that have been leveled against me are not all true, but enough of them are true that I have been appropriately and lovingly removed from ministry. Our church’s overseers have required me to submit to the oversight of Dr. James Dobson, Pastor Jack Hayford, and Pastor Tommy Barnett. Those men will perform a thorough analysis of my mental, spiritual,emotional, and physical life. They will guide me through a program with the goal of healing and restoration for my life, my marriage, and my family.

I created this entire situation. The things that I did opened the door for additional allegations . But I am responsible; I alone need to be disciplined
and corrected. An example must be set.

It is important that you know how much I love and appreciate my wife, Gayle. What I did should never reflect in a negative way on her relationship with me. She has been and continues to be incredible. The problem is not with her, my children or any of you. It was created 100 percent by me.

I have been permanently removed from the office of Senior Pastor of New Life Church. Until a new senior pastor is chosen, our Associate Senior Pastor Ross Parsley will assume all of the the responsibilities of the office. On the day he accepted this new role, he and his wife, Aimee, had a new baby boy. A new life in the midst of this circumstance - I consider the confluence of events to be prophetic. Please commit to join with Pastor Ross and the others in church leadership to make their service to you easy and without burden. They are fine leaders. You are blessed.

I appreciate your loving and forgiving nature, and I humbly ask you to do a few things.

1.) Please stay faithful to God through service and giving.

2.) Please forgive me. I am so embarrassed and ashamed. I caused this and I have no excuse. I am a sinner. I have fallen. I desperately need to be forgiven and healed.

3.) Please forgive my accuser. He is revealing the deception and sensuality that was in my life. Those sins, and others, need to be dealt with harshly. So, forgive him and, actually, thank God for him. I am trusting that his action will make me, my wife and family, and ultimately all of you, stronger. He didn’t violate you; I did.

4.) Please stay faithful to each other. Perform your functions well. Encourage each other and rejoice in God’s faithfulness. Our church body is a
beautiful body, and like every family, our strength is tested and proven in the midst of adversity. Because of the negative publicity I’ve created with my foolishness, we can now demonstrate to the world how our sick and wounded can be healed, and how even disappointed and betrayed church bodies can prosper and rejoice.

Gayle and I need to be gone for a while. We will never return to a leadership role at New Life Church. In our hearts, we will always be members of this body. We love you as our family. I know this situation will put you to the test. I’m sorry I’ve created the test, but please rise to this challenge and demonstate the incredible grace that is available to all of us.

Ted Haggard


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Comments:

Sounds like a model of repentance and godly sorrow.  What a contrast to, say, Jimmy Swaggart’s tears and sorrow and holding on to his “ministry” and its money with a deathgrip.  May God indeed heal and restore Ted Haggard and his family much as he restored King David after his great sins.

[1] Posted by Milton on 11-05-2006 at 03:18 PM • top

Sadly, though, I recall the original repentance of Bill Melnyk, ECUSA clergy druid.

It will be a very long, tough haul for Mr. Haggard and his family.  I am grieved for them.  But the damage that he has done to thousands of sheep under his care is inestimable.  A letter of apology is only the first step of many.

The only good thing that I can see out of all of this is that appropriate oversight, investigation, and church discipline was exercised.  The actions of the board of overseers demonstrates how things ought to be done—and also reveals that congregationalists can do this better than the Episcopal church.  No surprise—but a nice further demonstration of it.

[2] Posted by Sarah on 11-05-2006 at 03:22 PM • top

I am hopeful that it will be possible to share more about the early warning signs, and failed check points, that led up to the immorality.  He suggests that this was a long term problem for which he had sought help in the past.  In terms of the genuiness of the sentiment expressed in the letter, only time will tell.

[3] Posted by Going Home on 11-05-2006 at 03:39 PM • top

I am wondering how many other “men of God” are under the same temptations, literally…For God’s sake get to somebody and do something about it…submit to an authority, and work through it, and keep under covering and be honest and open with that person, otherwise YOU might be another Ted Haggard.
Yes God is cleansing His Church both from within and without.
Brian
from Aussie

[4] Posted by Brian (Aussie) on 11-05-2006 at 04:59 PM • top

My non-denominational minister today thanked God that he is not famous. We prayed for Pastor Haggard in our church today - and our pastor teased us that he’s glad people call him “Mac Who??” The more someone is put on a pedestal, the harder the Evil One tries to bring him down.

May Pastor Haggard be faithful and restored. I expect to meet him in Heaven some day.

[5] Posted by NancyNH on 11-05-2006 at 05:21 PM • top

With rock star status comes both temptation and availibility. The economics of the megachurch adds additional pressure and risk.  Salaries and compensation can get out of line.  Concerns over revenue stability can influence the message. 
I am not opposed to larger churches, rather I believe they fill an important role in witnessing to our culture and providing a safe place for families.  You just have to be diligent at every stage of the process. Of today’s megachurches, I think Saddleback and its pastor, Rick Warren, presents the best model of accountability and fiscal responsibility.

[6] Posted by Going Home on 11-05-2006 at 05:52 PM • top

It fills me with anxiety to see how a Christian may fall into sin like this.

Although none of us [that I know of] on this blog—[with the exception of a few bishops]—are famous, we still each of us sin every day, and could easily fall into very public and painful sins of all sorts, including drug use and sexual relationships outside of marriage.

God is so gracious and will forgive us of any sin, no matter what.  He will forgive us when humans fail us.  But the pain and broken trust that it wreaks on church, family, and self is very frightening and horrifying.

Think also of the gay prostitute, all the betrayal that must have gone on in his life to get him to this place.  And think of—yet again—what must have gone through his mind to realize that he had been seeing a pastor of a church.  That breeds further cynicism and disrespect for the Christian church and shamefully, for the gospel of Jesus Christ.

All of us can ask God to help us and keep us humble and asking for protection and grace.

[7] Posted by Sarah on 11-05-2006 at 07:57 PM • top

Re: The actions of the board of overseers demonstrates how things ought to be done—and also reveals that congregationalists can do this better than the Episcopal church. 

Perhaps that’s true, Sarah, but it should not be. The catholic tradition gives our bishops the authority to “do better” much more efficiently. The fact that some do not is not a vote for congregationalism. Rather it is a vote for better bishops. And we do this how? Perhaps by better participation at the congregational level. Seems like a conundrum. <g>

[8] Posted by Gulfstream on 11-05-2006 at 08:02 PM • top

That letter certainly rings true in my ears, and my heart goes out to the man himself and to all directly affected.  It was saddening to the the results of the AOL poll, in which approximately 70% of a large number of respondents could not accept this letter as “sincere.”
I cannot resist asking aloud the question: how would things be shaping up if Haggard were an Episcopal clergyman?  Would the newspapers pay any attention?  Would a Vestry take any action?  Would the bishop get upset?  I wonder.

[9] Posted by Laurence K Wells on 11-05-2006 at 09:08 PM • top

Re: “Perhaps that’s true, Sarah, but it should not be. The catholic tradition gives our bishops the authority to “do better” much more efficiently. The fact that some do not is not a vote for congregationalism. Rather it is a vote for better bishops. And we do this how?”

Gulfstream, I agree that it should not be.  And *in theory* it should be better.  But if one can’t get “better bishops” . . . I’m not sure what the solution is.

[10] Posted by Sarah on 11-05-2006 at 10:09 PM • top

Sarah, you say, quite truly:
“It fills me with anxiety to see how a Christian may fall into sin like this.
Although none of us [that I know of] on this blog—[with the exception of a few bishops]—are famous, we still each of us sin every day, and could easily fall into very public and painful sins of all sorts, including drug use and sexual relationships outside of marriage. “

Of course, that’s why Paul warns us, “Take care, he who thinks he stands, lest he fall.”  And Jesus was tested/tempted severely just after the Father publically affirmed Him as His Son when John the Baptist baptized Him and the Father spoke and the Holy Spirit rested on Him as a dove.  The Spirit immediately drove Him into the desert to face a 40 day fast and the temptation to make His ministry about Himself instead of doing the Father’s will who sent Him.

None of us alone is up to resisting temptation personally tailored to our weakest spots.  But God gives us simultaneously no excuse AND no reason to fail!  A verse I lean on daily with all my fallen-redeemed weight is 1 Corinthians 10:13
“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.”

[11] Posted by Milton on 11-05-2006 at 11:32 PM • top

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