Bishop Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire, has signed a multi-year deal with They Work, Inc., a nationally known maker of bullet-proof vests, to develop a special clerical line of vests.

“I’m just a country Bishop,” said Robinson, “But I’m getting threats all the time. Yesterday a dog growled at me as I crossed the street, so you can never be too careful. You must always keep your guard up.” Bishop Robinson says he has no idea what’s been causing the rise in anti-clerical threats since 2003, but says he is happy to work with TW, Ink. “Of course I will have something to say about it in my next book,” he said.

The ‘Gene Collection’ will initially offer three options: a vest in “Simple Country Bishop Rose” for Bishops, one in “We’re Doing A New Thing Black” for parish priests, and a made-to-order “Color of Sunrise” for special church occasions, such as depositions. More color options are being considered, including an all-weather fabric for serving outside, which currently code-named ‘Lambeth.’

Each vest will come with a detachable fragment-resistant clerical collar, and will be able to attach the standard US military IBV groin and shoulder protection. As an option on the Bishop’s vest, the groin protection may be attached to the rear in order to cover their posteriors. This will be known as the ‘Beers attachment,’ and will come in especially handy when explaining what happened at House of Bishops meetings.