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"Be on your guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be brave. Be strong. Be loving in everything you do." - I Corinthians 16:13-14 |
The Rev. Tim Jones was born in Leeds, England in 1967. He earned a degree in history from the University of York, and a degree in theology and Diploma in Ministry from Oxford. He was a seminarian at Ripon College, Cuddesdon (one of the three Anglican seminaries associated with Oxford University), was ordained deacon in 1994 and priest in 1995. Jones served as curate in an economically disadvantaged urban area of Middlesbrough until 1996, after which he was a prison chaplain until 1999. In 2002 he became the Vicar of St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Corinth, Mississippi. Jones is married; his daughter was born in 2000. I spoke with The Rev. Jones during the week of July 29, 2004.
Tim Jones: The context for my position is one of having been in the past fairly active in support of gay rights. I have marched in public demonstrations for gay rights, and have written and spoken in the past against the homophobia which gay and lesbian people have to endure in society generally, and often from the Christian church in particular.
I am dismayed by the actions of General Convention. This is for three main reasons, though this by no means constitutes a comprehensive account of my thinking:
First, ECUSA betrayed the trust of our fellow Christians. At the Lambeth Council of 1998 it was agreed not to proceed with any divisive actions concerning human sexuality, to give the Communion a breathing space, time to reflect and pray together about the issues involved and their implications. GC2003 cuts right across those prayers and conversations. The bishops of ECUSA agreed to do one thing, and then did the opposite. It makes any future conversations with fellow Christians anywhere very difficult - why should ECUSA be believed or trusted? Just because we believe we are right about something does not mean we can do what we like.
Second, we have got the cart before the horse; to confirm a non-celibate homosexual person as a bishop bypasses the legitimate debate about the Church's teaching on sex and marriage. The implication of that bypass is that the Church's teaching is not very important, even irrelevant. That is a terrible mistake. From my point of view this diminishes the future possibilities for gay people. Even if we, the Church, one day discern our way to celebrating marriage for gay couples, we have now undermined its importance - indeed, the importance of marriage for all of us, gay or straight. We have said that Church doctrine and discipline doesn't really matter.
Tim Jones: Repentance is a complex affair. In one sense the error was a corporate error, requiring corporate penitence. For that to happen, of course, there would need to be a large group of bishops, clergy and people who change their minds about GC2003. That is a huge task, and I don't see those people being convinced by the argument that the Bible forbids homosexuality (I for one am just not persuaded that it does). Between now and the General Conventions of 2006 and 2009, where the corporate repentance might most probably manifest itself, a tremendous amount of work needs to be done to educate ourselves as a worldwide denomination about the issues involved - including issues of church identity, and of personal identity.
Tim Jones: Yes, in that the Church's witness to the outward and visible part of the sacrament has been damaged. We have said that our teaching can be ignored when it is inconvenient. That is the very cultural norm which renders Christian faith little more than a leisure activity in the West.
In short, we saw the Church's theology as a subordinate part of a civil rights struggle, instead of seeing justice and compassion as contributory factors in the process of theological discernment. This issue is important, and deserves better than fast food theology. All of us should take more time to consider how we might be wrong.
Greg Griffith: Let's say ECUSA had done things in the right order - are you saying that the gay marriage debate rises to one of civil rights?
Tim Jones: No. Civil rights constitute an issue for civil society, informed by the philospohical and theological insights of its citizenry. Gay people are denied many things, including the full protection of the law for dedicated relationships intended to be for life. Civil society habitually uses the word 'marriage' for that, but doing so raises all kinds of problems. 'Marriage' is a religious word, denoting the sacramental union between two people, always understood until very recently as obviously between a man and a woman. It has been used without question in civil society because American society as a whole has been happy to identify itself as Christian. That is becoming ever less true. A civil society may choose to recognize a union between two people for whatever reasons it wants to, and afford that union all kinds of protections and privileges. It does not necessarily, though, accept or promote the union as a sacramental bond.
Strictly speaking, therefore, a free civil society can only recognize civil unions, allowing the free individuals to invest their union with whatever meaning they choose to. In that sense, it seems to me to be discriminatory for a civil society to deny that recognition to people of the same sex, unless it can be demonstrated that such recognition is to the serious detriment of society. I have seen no real evidence at all - only vehement assertions - that affording to gay couples the same financial, fiscal and political rights as heterosexual couples will injure society. In the absence of such evidence, surely a denial to gay people of civil union, by which I mean all that is commonly understood by civil society to apply to 'marriage', is a denial of their civil rights? If gay marriage is dangerous, provide evidence.
Greg Griffith: I have to say I'm surprised that as clear a thinker as yourself would advance the argument that absent any evidence X will cause harm, X must be allowed. I can't speak for everyone, but for many, the opposition to gay marriage in a civil context rests on the belief that to allow it would be to approve an immoral and destructive lifestyle; and that as a society we have not just the right, but the obligation not to do such things.
Tim Jones: I am not saying that X must be allowed. I am saying that in the discussion about allowing X in a free society, those who want to forbid X on the basis of its danger need to show evidence of that danger. The continued absence of such evidence after several decades diminishes the case of those opposed to X. In the case of gay marriage in a civil society separated from the church, quotations of scripture do not constitute sufficient evidence for law making. Civil society is not required to consider the theology of human relationships.
Greg Griffith: I actually entered this debate last year on the other side. At the time I scoffed at an argument the clarity of which is striking to me now, and that is: Marriage - whether we define it a Christian sacrament or a civil construct - is defined simply as the union of one man and one woman. Thus it is not discriminatory in the least. It certainly does not discriminate on the basis of one's sexual preference: It is not the case that you can't get married because you're gay. Add to that the fact that marriage is not a right, and it's hard to buy the notion that homosexuals' civil rights are being violated.
Tim Jones: Civil society chooses to afford to its citizens certain legal, fiscal and political privileges if they declare themselves to be in loving domestic partnership intended to be lifelong - those are not rights. But if the state denies some of its citizens those same privileges because some other citizens do not like it, then discrimination has occurred. In a free society, such discrimination surely infringes the civil rights of a citizen, unless it can be shown that it in some way protects society from danger.
For the Church, again, the situation is different. Marriage is indeed defined as the union of one man and one woman. The question under theological debate is whether we should change the definition. That is why I think that using the religious word "marriage" in the debate about the civil law is a mistake. Civil law has adopted a word invested with religious meaning, confusing the two distinct debates.
The question facing the Church is whether we can extend our theological understanding of marriage to include homosexual relationships. That would be a radical change from what we as Christians have done before. We need to discern what kind of radical change it is. Is it like recognizing vernacular copies of Christian scripture as authoritative, as Wycliffe, Luther, Cranmer and others argued (i.e., changing our discipline as a church)? Or is it like accepting that the earth goes around the sun (i.e., absorbing previously unknown new information and observations about physical reality into our theology)? Or is it a mistake, an erroneous response to a situation although made with the best motives (i.e., burning at the stake people with faulty theology in an effort to safeguard truth)?
So far the theology employed at the diocesan councils and general councils has been fairly shallow. To caricature the situation, the 'pro-gay' theology seems to be limited to "God made me and loves me, I am gay, so God made me gay and is happy that I'm gay." The 'anti-gay' theology does not go far beyond "Romans 1:26-27 says homosexuality is bad." Neither of those is really a coherent theological position; rather, they are polemical positions.
Greg Griffith: I have to disagree. Surely you've read George Woodliff's essay, and when you and I first met - at the Stand Firm meeting in May - Dr. Kendall Harmon had just given his assessment of the crisis. Do you mean to characterize either of these as theologically shallow?
Tim Jones: Absolutely not. There is a great deal that has been written from both sides of the argument that must be taken seriously. My contention is simply that the more complex theology has not so far been characteristic of the debate as it has been conducted in the decision making councils of the Church.
Tim Jones: No, I think that is a terribly misguided approach. It is of course true that God redeems our human condition; he can take the mess that we make and draw good from it, but that truth in no way constitutes a license to create chaos deliberately. The New Testament deals head on with this matter; through sin God's grace is indeed revealed all the more abundantly, but that categorically does not mean that we should purposefully sin with the intention of making more space for God's grace. One of the words used several times in scripture to describe the idea of evil, or iniquity, or wickedness, is the Greek word 'anomia', the direct translation of which is 'lawlessness'. From the moment of creation, God draws order out of chaos, and sees that it is good; Christian discipleship involves participation in that creative divine endeavour, through Jesus Christ, the Word of God. There is then no excuse for engineering or celebrating anarchy, just because we can see that God has redeemed other occasions of anarchy in the history of the Church and the world.
Posted by Greg Griffith at September 2, 2004 08:54 PM (GMT -6:00)Great interview Greg. Mr. Jones gives us much to consider, but i find a few banana peels in his ideas. If i may:
Where X=SSM;
I am saying that in the discussion about allowing X in a free society, those who want to forbid X on the basis of its danger need to show evidence of that danger. The continued absence of such evidence after several decades diminishes the case of those opposed to X.
If he cannot see any evidence, then he's clearly not looking very hard. More likely, he simply rejects the body evidence as "insufficient" to his own subjective standard of "danger". As a long-time gay rights activist, we should not be suprised by this close-mindedness. Several decades have given us a huge body of evidence that marriage is weakening under the strain of sexual permissiveness and a crisis of infidelity (covered in great detail elsewhere, we need not repeat it all here).
Also,
On one hand, he clearly sees the danger of treating a sacrament "leisurely":
Yes, in that the Church's witness to the outward and visible part of the sacrament has been damaged. We have said that our teaching can be ignored when it is inconvenient.
While on the other, he is blind to the danger of treating scriptural authority as carelessly:
...I don't see those people being convinced by the argument that the Bible forbids homosexuality (I for one am just not persuaded that it does).
Perhaps he finds it all too "inconvenient"?
But for me, this was the worst offense, and a deft way to avoid Greg's question:
But if the state denies some of its citizens those same privileges because some other citizens do not like it, then discrimination has occurred.
It is not the case that gays are denied a right to marry because other citizens don't want them to. Gays DO have the same rights to marry -- but it is they themselves who "don't want to" marry under the same rules as everyone else! Just because you don't want to marry someone of the opposite sex is a far cry from saying that you cannot, or worse, that you are prohibited from doing so because of prejudice. This is an insidious little assault on our very notion of equality!
"I am not persuaded that the Bible condemns homosexual behavior." No further reading required.
# Posted by: Daniel at September 3, 2004 12:13 AMTimothy, for the most part, makes a lot of sense. I have to wonder, though, whether he is reading the same Bible I am.
# Posted by: Michael Ware at September 3, 2004 09:17 AMDear Marty,
Concerning your comments about evidence of harm. I readily agree that there is plenty of evidence that wanton sexual behaviour is deeply destructive, whether it is homosexual or heterosexual. Where is the evidence that faithful, monogomous homosexual union for life is dangerous?
Dear Daniel,
Your response illustrates the nature of the fissure in the Church. Instead of dismissing me out of hand because our initial positions are different, why not discover an interest in my reasons for not being persuaded by the Bible's references to homosexual behaviour? After all, on the face of it, you have a good case, because the Bible appears to be fairly clear.
The Bible is more than "fairly clear" on the subject of homosexuality. Let me pose a question for you: When did the Bible go from being an instruction manual to a menu (choose one belief from column A and two from column B)?
# Posted by: Michael Ware at September 3, 2004 09:41 AMOne thing I like about Timothy Jones is that he demands honest proof and honest debate. Too much of that has gone by the wayside during these controversies. Many within both the left and the right (liberals and conservatives) continually parrot half-truths and poor scholarship. This needs to end if we are truly ever to know the mind of God on such matters - pro or con.
The comment/question Greg raised, ”…the opposition to gay marriage in a civil context rests on the belief that to allow it would be to approve an immoral and destructive lifestyle…” and Jones’s response that the evidence is not present that homosexuality is an “immoral and destructive” lifestyle. Greg’s comment is an erroneous belief and not based on reliable studies. There are “lifestyles” within both camps that are destructive and immoral, but homosexuality in-and-of-itself is not any more immoral or destructive than heterosexuality. Study after study confirms this, even to the point that children raised in gay households are statistically as well adjusted as those raised in heterosexual households. (Yes, in an ideal world a child raised by a stable and competent man and woman who truly love and respect one another would be the best senario, but those situations are not the norm, even among Christians!) Studies produced by Nicolosi and his ilk are neither scientifically reliable nor verifiable.
It is far too simplistic to say that this or that individual scriptural verse or pericope says this or that, and so case closed. As any honest and sincere Biblical scholar who is after Truth, rather than supporting his/her particular notions, can tell you, hermeneutical engagement with Scripture is not a simple endeavor - there are lots of unknowns and lots of grey areas, regardless of what some may want to believe. This is the problem - _many_ conservatives do not want to do the intellectual work, and _many_ liberals just what to dismiss or find loopholes within Scripture.
Marty writes, “It is not the case that gays are denied a right to marry because other citizens don't want them to. Gays DO have the same rights to marry -- but it is they themselves who ‘don't want to’ marry under the same rules as everyone else! Just because you don't want to marry someone of the opposite sex is a far cry from saying that you cannot, or worse, that you are prohibited from doing so because of prejudice. This is an insidious little assault on our very notion of equality!”
This is disingenuous, and this is an example of people not listening to one another. Absolutely, any male has the right to marry a female, and visa-versa. Marty, you can technically go and enter into a Civil-Union in Vermont, or perhaps a marriage in Massachusetts, to another man. You have that right, but you are not homosexual (I presume) and are therefore not truly capable of loving (in that deep, emotional, and sexual sense) another man, as you are a woman. The marriage would be a sham, and the other person would be the victim of a love-less marriage. (I’ve seen it happen far too often.) Technically, you can, but in reality it is a civil-contact of convenience because the capability to love in that deep and abiding way is not present. It is the same for homosexual people. Technically, they can get the license from the state, they can have a ceremony in a church, they can even mechanically “do the deed,” but the marriage is a sham nonetheless. It is not an assault on equality.
# Posted by: bob at September 3, 2004 09:48 AMMarty writes, "While on the other, he is blind to the danger of treating scriptural authority as carelessly . . . Perhaps he finds it all too "inconvenient"?
Scholars disagree about the texts that refer to "homosex" as Gagnon refers to it, and it's hard to simply write people like Wink, Countryman and others off as "treating scriptural authority carelessly," or avoiding the hard questions as "inconvenient." (BTW, there's an interesting repartee regarding this issue, if you haven't already read it between Gagnon and Wink at religion-online.org under homosexuality.)
I don't understand how you regard Jone's comments as careless, Marty. Neither do I STILL see how you can think sincere, intelligent believers cannot disagree regarding the issue without one side being "careless" or otherwise negligent. I'll concede only side can be correct, but at least allow for an honest difference of opinion.
Greg, you pose this question: "There is the idea put forth by some that, from time to time, God's will is expressed not in consensus through careful deliberation, but through rebellion and chaos, that perhaps what is described by some as the lawlessness of General Convention is a case in point."
I think it's an excellent question, but I don't think Jones is wholly right. Primordial "chaos" is what the Spirit of God hovered over in creation, which God ordered to his will. Yet, one could argue that "chaos" occurs regularly in the way God deals with his people from time to time, precisely to wake them up. My first thought is of Isaiah 45.ff, where God "anoints" (makes him God's messiah) Cyrus, the King of the Persians, and the Persian hordes, to carry out God's mission and intentions to God's people. This is followed up with a sort of explanation, in v.7, where the Lord says through the prophet, "I form light and create darkness, I make weal and create woe; I the Lord do all these things." God is in control of all the twists and turns of what happens, whether chaotic or orderly, good or bad, from a human standpoint. So I think God, could, indeed be acting through the "lawless" (sic) events being discussed.
I think marriage is believed to be a "right" at this point in time.
Consider this example, if you don't believe me: both Lyle and Erik Menendez, the California brothers who murdered their own parents, have both been permitted to marry, even as they serve life sentences in prison. Neither is allowed conjugal visits.
If that's not proof that human beings consider marriage to be a "right," I don't know what is.
This is just a sidebar, though; I agree with Rev. Tim Jones in what he's saying here.
# Posted by: rosie at September 3, 2004 12:52 PMMichael,
You ask, "When did the Bible go from being an instruction manual to a menu (choose one belief from column A and two from column B)?"
I suppose about the time when we discovered that the Bible doesn't work as an instruction manual, unless of course, you really do think Laban's creative method of breeding animals (Gen. 30.37-39) for markings will work, or that there are "winged insects that walk on all fours" instead of six legs, or worse, as the KJB says, ". . . fowl that creep or go on all fours." (KJV Lev. 11.20).
Or consider: Choose A, B or C
In which two gospel accounts of the Resurrection does Peter go to see the empty tomb?
A. Mark and John
B. Luke and John
C. Matthew and Mark (ans. B)
In which two gospel accounts do none of the Twelve go to the empty tomb?
A. Luke and Mark
B. Matthew and Luke
C. Matthew and Mark (ans. C)
Which version of the creation of humankind is correct?
A. Humankind is created last, and after the plants are created/Genesis 1.27-28
B. Humankind is created just before plants/ Genesis 2.5-8
Responding to a few responses directed at me:
Tim: Where is the evidence that faithful, monogomous homosexual union for life is dangerous?
I see little evidence that "faithful monogamous unions for life" is whay gays have in mind when they demand the right to marry. On the contrary, many mainstream gay writers have said just the opposite, claiming that SSM will require new definitions of "faithfulness in marriage". Not to say that it is impossible of course, but we must all admit that faithful monogamy are not attributes generally associated with homosexuals.
I also base my opinion on the fact that the gay rights movement is a natural extension of the radical feminist movement, which has brought us unprecedented levels of abortion, fatherlessness and single motherhood, and an epidemic of divorce. All of which are a clear and present danger to the family, and i see no reason to suspect anything but similar degradation to result from a wholesale redefinition of marriage.
bob: You have that right, but you are not homosexual (I presume) and are therefore not truly capable of loving (in that deep, emotional, and sexual sense) another man, as you are a woman. The marriage would be a sham, and the other person would be the victim of a love-less marriage. (I’ve seen it happen far too often.) Technically, you can, but in reality it is a civil-contact of convenience because the capability to love in that deep and abiding way is not present.
Bob, I'm shocked that you would sell my capacity to love another human being so short. This goes well against the grain of what I keep hearing about the boundless and all-inclusive love of Jesus Christ that we all seek to emulate. Technically yes, i am heterosexual, but this does nothing to describe the type of love i could share with another man, if i were to allow myself. I am capable of far more than you give me credit for -- and incidentally -- i believe homosexuals are generally capable of far more than they give themselves credit for in this debate: their capacity to love a member of the opposite sex in all fullness of the word.
Barbara: Neither do I STILL see how you can think sincere, intelligent believers cannot disagree regarding the issue without one side being "careless" or otherwise negligent. I'll concede only side can be correct, but at least allow for an honest difference of opinion.
I will concede that i may have used the word "carelessly" carelessly. But you do get the point. And while i can and do respect the honest difference of opinion here, there are two sides of the coin that MUST be addressed together:
It is one thing to argue that the bible is not consistent in its disapproval of homosexual conduct.
It is another to argue that the bible is not consistent in its exclusive approval and sanctity of heterosexual relations.
To the orthodox person, these positions are perfectly consitent and complimentary. The burden on the revisionist is to refute them both. And while i've read much on the former, i've seen nothing addressing the latter, aside from some very scary people who posit that Jesus himself was gay.
Marty,
Sorry--you're wording confuses me. You say "these positions are perfectly consistent and complimentary." I'm guessing you're saying that the Bible IS consistent in it's exclusive approval of the sanctity of heterosexual relations--and I agree. What's the other position? That the Bible is consistent in it's disapproval of homosexual conduct, right?
It's that last statement that a lot of "revisionists" would disagree with you. You've honestly not seen anything adressing the question of the Bible's uniform disapproval of homosexual behavior except from the wierd extremes? You might be interested to in Walter Wink's (very heterosexual fellow) essay at: religion-online.org and go to the articles on homosexuality, Wink's is the first one on the list. There are lots of others, too, but he's a serious start.
# Posted by: Barbara+ at September 3, 2004 02:23 PMMarty cited and hyperlinked some good references of with which I'm also familiar. But I wonder if they can be said to be definitive?
Why would gay men be congenitally more promiscuous than anyone else? They've always been ostracized, and pushed outside of the sanctions of the Church. Who can know whether or not a monogamous commitment before God and People wouldn't be honored? Maybe some, perhaps a majority, wouldn't want it, that's their perogative--but then they're not interested in Christian commitment and fidelity. I've known plenty of non-monogamous-but-married couples in my life, as I'm sure you have. Infidelity is an equal opportunity sin that is and has long been rampant. Dare I say even fashionable in some eras?
Marty, I think the underlying problems leading to increased divorce rates, abortion, etc, has to do with a formerly macho-male culture that touted infidelity in marriage and childrearing as part of what it is/was to be male. I gladly admit been part of the feminist movement. For me, it was a direct reaction to the chronic social problem of men shirking responsibility for their children and to fidelity in marriage. I applaud the Promisekeeper's movement and anything else that helps Christian men to stay faithful in relationship to their wives and children. I also deeply admire you and the other men on who post on this site who seem deeply commited to the values of monogamy and fidelity in marriage.
# Posted by: Barbara+ at September 3, 2004 03:12 PMBarbara, you are indeed confused by what i said and i will clarify it here. And thanks for the link to the wink gagnon debate which i've been reading all day.
It is perfectly consistent to me that biblical admonishments of homosexuality go hand in hand with biblical approval and sanctification of heterosexual relationships to the exclusion of all others.
It would seem slighly odd (by omission) if the bible offered exclusive sanctification of heterosexual relations, without also admonishing homosexual relations.
Likewise, it would seem odd that if there were no prohibition of homosexual behavior, that the bible would go as far as it does to outline the parameters of a sanctified heterosexual union.
It is ETREMELY specious therefore, to claim both: that there is no prohibition of homosexual behavior, and no explicit sanctification of heterosexual relations to the exclusion of all others. Tim is "not convinced" of the former (homosexual disapproval), so i have to wonder how convinced he is of the latter (exclusive heterosexual approval).
I hope that clears matters up. Two sides of the same coin.
# Posted by: Marty at September 3, 2004 03:15 PMBarbara, I provided that link as an example, there are plenty more that i didn't take the time to dig up. Definitive? I'm not making that claim... conventional wisdom, certainly.
Regarding your feminist past, (and i do not dispute that there have been many good things to come of the movement) do you deny that many of the major feminist accomplishments, while "empowering" to women, have had a negative effect on family stability?
And yes, i did attend PromiseKeepers in atlanta this summer. It was awesome.
# Posted by: Marty at September 3, 2004 03:21 PMMarty,
I'm not as well read on this subject as I'd like to be but it seems to me that the feminist movement definately did not achieve it's goals of equality and stability within relationship. Instead, it seems as if the worst of the feminist movement and the worst of macho-mindset have conspired against children and family. So I think it was bad before and yes, I believe the feminist movement destabilized what was a sin-sick institution--the abusive patriarchal marriage. (Please hear me when I say not all marriages were such--but the feminist movement was aimed precisely at male abuse of power and authority in relationships.) Tragically, the casual use of abortion for birth control is a rotten side effect of the feminist movement.
But I have hope yet, as I watch and listen to my teenage step-daughters and sons who seem to share a culture that takes monogamy and fidelity as a given--for both genders, in a way it wasn't when I was their age.
# Posted by: Barbara+ at September 3, 2004 04:05 PMMarty,
Sorry that you thought I was impugning your ability to love. I am talking about the differences of love people feel and express towards others. As C.S. Lewis presents in his book _The Four Loves_, the Eros form love is different than the Philia form of love, which I am sure you know. Unless one is truly bisexual, the likelihood that a heterosexual is able to feel Eros towards the same gender is slight, and visa-versa.
So you're suggesting that i'm bisexual because i believe that people are far more capable of movement within the "continuum" than they give themselves credit for?
# Posted by: Marty at September 4, 2004 08:30 AMMarty, I’m not suggesting you are anything - I don't know you. If you are implying that there is a continuum of sexual/affectional feelings between heterosexuals and homosexuals, I can understand that. However, if there is a continuum then there will be people who are exclusively homosexual and exclusively heterosexual.
I had a counselor from a Christian counseling center that believed that all sexual/affectual attraction was learned. Homosexuals could unlearn homosexual attraction and learn heterosexual attraction, and visa-versa. I do not agree with this hypothesis and have never found anything that honestly supports this notion.
I can physically have sex with a man or a woman, which does not mean I am capable of loving both equally in the Eros sense.
# Posted by: bob at September 4, 2004 11:22 AMI can physically have sex with a man or a woman, which does not mean I am capable of loving both equally in the Eros sense.
Fair enough, this is as good a place as any to define our disagreement: I think you are selling your capacity to love another human being quite short. In fact, i might even go so far as to say it seems rather close-minded and stereotypical.
# Posted by: Marty at September 4, 2004 12:09 PMbob, i'll go a step farther with an example. I think that the majority of white people find it impossible to imagine that they could find fulfillment in love with a black skinned person. Sure, we see it happening around us, but we don't really understand it. Somehow, it just seems to grate against our own "orientation".
The same could be said of an athletic person's capacity to love an obese person. Would you also sell them so short?
I for one, think love is capable of conquering such unimportant physical differences as race, weight, or gender.
# Posted by: Marty at September 4, 2004 12:32 PMBarbara, i know that my idea of gay-marriage as a natural extension of the feminist agenda is a bit obscure for most people. I only stumbled across it myself last fall, but since then it has become more and more clear. Just as a way of clarifying it for everyone else, i'd like to offer this quote from a review of Rauch's book in support of SSM:
The decline of marriage coincides with society's acceptance of the separation of sex from procreation, and marriage from parenthood. The former made sex before (and outside of) marriage easier; the latter made cohabitation and divorce tolerable. Marriage started to fall apart, in other words, when couples started to think it was primarily about personal commitment and mutual caregiving and stopped thinking about marriage in terms of duty and responsibility toward children.
(from MarriageDebate.com)
Marty,
I can't help but wonder if you're not missing the point that bob was making about the distinction between erotic love and love in the more fraternal sense. Human beings are pretty much hard-wired in some ways. Important physical responses occur in erotic love. In filial love, they don't, won't and can't--no matter what your head or even heart says. Or if they do, it's a self-conscious struggle and not at all the kind of self-transcendent love that the erotic can provides, and for which the human heart longs.
Love is certainly capable of crossing any boundaries or physical issues--but eroticism isn't, imo.
# Posted by: Barbara+ at September 4, 2004 01:31 PMLove is certainly capable of crossing any boundaries or physical issues--but eroticism isn't, imo.
Begging the question then "is Eros really worthy of being called Love"?
# Posted by: Marty at September 4, 2004 01:42 PMMarty,
The decline of marriage more nearly coincides with the advent of "the Pill."
Easy-to-use, safe, reliable birth control made it possible for the first time for couples to even begin to imagine marriage "was primarily about personal commitment and mutual caregiving" instead of "in terms of duty and responsibility toward children."
The "feminist agenda" as you refer to it actually began in the early 1900's when women rallied and performed acts of civil disobedience to get the right to vote (19th Amendment.) Marriage went on pretty smoothly as a social institution until modern birth control became normative in the 60's.
Marriage as an institution, even in scripture, you'll notice, is traditionally for the protection of the woman and the children in a society where males held most of the power and authority.
Would you explain how you see gay marriage as a natural extension of feminism?
# Posted by: Barbara+ at September 4, 2004 01:53 PMWould you explain how you see gay marriage as a natural extension of feminism?
It's difficult for me to talk about this in clear terms because what we used to call "radical feminism" has become pretty mainstream stuff. I don't mean to diminish the valuable achievements of sufferage when i speak of the militant lesbian anti-male and anti-family feminist agenda. The clear results of which are abortion, no-fault divorce, kids being raised by day-care professionals instead of family members, and confused notions of gender that have prepubescent children on Oprah asking for sex-change therapy (with the full support of the APA apparently).
These feminists were natural allies in the earliest days of the gay rights movement, and they were unabashedly anti-family (not just anti-patriarchial, but anti-Hierarchial). They have been ideological partners with activist gays ever since. Many well-meaning and earnest gays who support marriage would like to deny this anti-family heritage, but i'm afraid that it is willful self-denial.
I am honestly afraid that when all is said and done, the marriage rights that gays worked so hard to secure will have become as worthless as the one's i'm fighting to protect -- much to the delight of the godless feminists who were the driving force all along.
Aside, Barbara, have you taken the time to read any Tammy Bruce?
# Posted by: Marty at September 4, 2004 02:17 PMMarty,
Feminism does come in lots of stripes and colors, including "radical" and "godless." As I think back over much of what I've read, I guess there's merit to what you say. There certainly isn't a lot of emphasis or value placed on the family as such, unless you read someone like Nancy Chodorow in her book "The Reproduction of Mothering," where she talks about the necessity for Fathers to take an equal role in child-rearing as a mean's of raising more well adjusted (in terms of gender roles) children---which will lend itself to a more equitable society as well. Unfortunately, the family has been the locus of destruction and pain for too many women and their children over the years. As soon as a large sector of women had a chance to break free of it, they have, some with great bitterness that has spilled over to include anger at God and religion.
But the stuff Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell say about feminists isn't fair or rational, imo.
This conversation reminds me of a seminar I attended several years ago. The speaker was an RC religious, I think her name was (Sr.) Barbara Fian or something like that. Anyway, her thesis perhaps dovetails with yours. Her talk was about feminism and the Church. Basically what she said is that the Church and society has been patriarchal/masculine too long--like the swing of a pendulum that has to swing back, Church and society would eventually swing all the way toward the feminine. She saw coming a feminisation of Church and culture. Then, eventually, balance could be achieved and things could settle down. She was talking about a dialectic process between masculine and feminine.
Maybe the greater acceptance of gays and of single mothers and all the rest of what seems to many to be the destruction of the traditional family is just that---a feminisation of all of it. And it's scarey for a lot of people. But I see the push for marriage/blessings of ss unions as part of coming back to center.
I don't know of Tammy Bruce. What does she write? Can you make a recommendation?
# Posted by: Barbara+ at September 4, 2004 03:26 PMPart of the problem is that the typical patriarchal male seems blind to the harm caused.
This may be an extreme case but I know a woman who was married to a man who freely called himself a "benign dictator." He was a professional with a professionl income. And he wasn't so "benign." He insisted she only go places he approved of, and could only stay until he said she had to come home--basically she was a prisoner in her own home. He wouldn't even allow her to volunteer time at the school with her elementary school age kids. When food was needed, he wrote out the check, and wrote in the amount, over which she could not spend. He constantly complained that she wanted too much money for food and clothes for the kids--and they had NO furniture except the furniture her parents gave them. Her parents clothed the kids for the most part. But HE had a fine leather chair that the kids weren't allowed to sit in, and a stereo system worth several thousand dollars. He took a couple of personal, expensive "professional trips" for his mental health and well-being every year (alone or with his friends or relatives.) He also had a fat personal retirement account into which he fed a large chunk of his income. He was cruel to his kids--constantly setting them up to fail. Of course, he refused to pay for sports and equipment or dance or music lessons. She tried and tried to work things out with him. Her pastor told her not to leave him, because as bad as he was, he needed her to keep him at all decent. Which she heard as "sacrifice yourself and your kids for the guy." Finally, she put the kids into the family van and left him. As she drove out of the driveway, he stood there yelling "What's the matter with you? Why are you leaving a perfectly good husband?" As far as I know, he STILL doesn't "get it."
# Posted by: Barbara+ at September 4, 2004 03:51 PMTammy Bruce is an atheist lesbian feminist with serious credentials (former president of Los Angeles N.O.W.), who has a thing or two to say about her (former) colleagues notions of morality and tolerance. She's written two books: The New Thought Police, and The Death of Right and Wrong.
Start with the latter, as it covers a broader subject area than the former. Very easy & quick reading, i hope you'll check one out.
# Posted by: Marty at September 4, 2004 03:55 PMMarty wrote: I think you are selling your capacity to love another human being quite short. In fact, I might even go so far as to say it seems rather close-minded and stereotypical.
You are welcome to your opinion, but the testimonies of too many people who remain consistent in their testimonies, along with lots of sociological/psychological studies, suggest otherwise. Despite my best efforts, I have never been attracted to woman either sexually or affectually. You may say I just don't try hard enough, I'm not allowing God to do His will, or I just don't recognize what capacity is truly within me, but I disagree with you.
# Posted by: bob at September 4, 2004 05:31 PMMarty,
I checked out her website. Geez. On the face of it, I cannot for the life of me, see why an out lesbian would ever support the Republican Party. She must have a heck of a fat portfolio she thinks the Republicans will protect. All the same, I am making a good faith effort, and today bought the book that was available, "The Death of Right and Wrong."
Already I see she's cozy with Dr. Laura--- who frankly I think is an poorly educated, money, fame and ego-inspired "religious entertainment" jerk. Given what Dr. Laura has said elsewhere, one has to wonder how Dr. Laura (and her husband in this dinner scenario) brings herself to offer her dinner table in hospitality to an atheistic queer, as the first chapter of the book describes? All the same, I hope to read the book tomorrow on my day off and get back with you.
# Posted by: Barbara+ at September 5, 2004 07:13 PMI'm sure you'll enjoy the read, even if you find it infuriating. Ms. Bruce was under the same misconceptions about Dr. Laura, until they found themselves sharing a radio studio -- and amazingly, they became friends. A perfect example of what was illustrated in the first book "The New Thought Police", that tolerance for diversity is being wholly misrepresented by the popular media, leading otherwise reasonable people to call each other uneducated egotistical jerks.
You'll forgive me for thinking these books might resonate with you.
# Posted by: Marty at September 5, 2004 07:26 PMFolks, it's not that I don't find fascinating the 11,378th debate about whether gays were born that way, and I'm frankly jazzed that Barbara has a copy of Bruce's book in her hands, but let me suggest that we steer things back toward what I believe is the Rev. Jones' main point - that GC74 is guilty of serious error, and what that error might mean to the debate in general and the Lambeth report in particular.
However, Barbara... I still want to hear your take on Bruce's book!
# Posted by: Greg Griffith at September 5, 2004 10:08 PMMarty,
You're right---the book really does resonate with me. And thank you for the recommendation. I'm not far enough through it yet--there was too much family stuff going on yesterday. I'll get back you when it's finished--hopefully today or tomorrow. It's definately a good read.
# Posted by: Barbara+ at September 7, 2004 08:57 AMWell, alrighty then. Let's get back to the original topic. From what I've read, here and elsewhere, all of the orthodox side and a growing number of the revisionist side believe that GC74 made a grievous error. Add in the majority of the worldwide Anglican communion (who are on the orthodox side) and you have one helluva lot of people who are aggrieved by the actions of GC74. This begs the question: What do we do now? It is becoming increasingly obvious that the sides are now so polarized (due mainly to the reprehensible actions of some revisionist bishops) that dialogue has has become impossible. It is entirely possible that the advantage may shift to the orthodox once the Eames Commission report is delivered but what happens then? GC74 has dug us all into a really deep hole. I intend to remain Anglican in some form. I would really love to remain Episcoplalian but the Episcopal Church of today is not the Episcopal Church I joined so many years ago. I don't intend to sit quietly and munch on whatever excretement sandwich is handed us by the 815 bunch.
# Posted by: Michael Ware at September 7, 2004 11:18 AMHow about this item from "The Let's Get This Matter Settled And Get Back To God's Business Department". According to David Virtue, the Queen (of England) has instructed the ABC to get this whole mess settled A.S.A.P. Apparently, this is one of the few areas the Monarchy has any power and is willing to use it. Hopefully, this will mean no typical namby-pamby, half-assed solution but a real solution with sanctions against ECUSA and the Anglican church in Canada. This may be just what we need to get Griswold's attention and get things rectified. Hope springs eternal.
# Posted by: Michael Ware at September 7, 2004 02:20 PM